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Rename America As "The United States of Goldman, Sachs"
By Sherwood Ross / Staff Writer
In view of Goldman, Sachs’ pervasive influence over Washington and the bailout that benefitted it so extensively, America’s name should be changed to the “United States of Goldman, Sachs,” a law school dean said.
Since the government bailout that saved GS’s bacon, (and “about $85 billion worth of its bacon”) writes Lawrence Velvel, dean of the Massachusetts School of Law at Andover, “We now live in the United States of Goldman, Sachs.”
So Americans could now change their coinage, their music, the wording of their anthems, the names of their warships, and even the name of their continent to reflect the bounty Congress hath showered upon the New York bank.
The song whose first line begins, “O beautiful for spacious skies,” could be renamed “Goldman, Sachs The Beautiful” and the line that starts “America, America,” could be changed to “Goldman, Sachs, Goldman, Sachs, God shed his grace on thee.” Another famous song invoking the deity could become, “God bless Goldman, Sachs, Land that I love.”
And although it is not known whether Latin Americans will go along with the idea, Velvel proposes to change the names of the New World continents to “South Goldman, Sachs” and “North Goldman, Sachs.”
The changeover would take some getting used to even for Americans, whose passports, for example, would all be stamped “The United States of Goldman, Sachs.”
And the English language would come in for some apparently much needed alterations as well. In honor of the fact that bailing out American International Group (AIG) simultaneously saved Goldman, Sachs, which otherwise would probably have lost scores of billions. To help a friend in trouble would be to “give him aig” and Congressional assistants would become legislative aiges. And, “To give assistance to a particular nation in order to pull it out of possible deep trouble is now to give it foreign,” writes Velvel.
The names of U.S. warships would also be changed. The U.S.S. Ronald Reagan would become the U.S.G.S.S. (U.S. Goldman Sachs Ship) Ronald Reagan, etc.
Still under consideration, Velvel writes, “is the question of whether the motto on our coins should be changed to, ‘In Goldman, Sachs We Trust.’ Some people think that would be going too far. They say that it is one thing to change the name of the country, but quite another to equate the country with God,” Velvel writes.
“Their position is undercut,” he explains, “by the fact that they are religious fundamentalists. Secularists find nothing wrong with changing the motto on our coins. And economists who are monetarists, or who think well of what the Federal Reserve has done, are vociferously in favor of the change,” he explained.
Velvel added this parting shot: “They (monetarists) also want the head of the Federal Reserve to change his name to Ben Bankee. This would make him Ben Bankee, Chairman of the Federal Reserve Board of the United States of Goldman, Sachs.”
The Massachusetts School of Law at Andover is a 21-year-old law school whose pioneering mission is to inexpensively provide rigorous legal education, a pathway into the legal profession, and social mobility to members of the working class, minorities, people in midlife, and immigrants.
Through its television shows, videotaped conferences, an intellectual magazine, and internet postings, MSL – - uniquely for a law school – - also seeks to provide the public with information about crucial legal and non legal subjects facing the country. #
(Further information or to arrange for interviews with MSL Dean and Cofounder Lawrence Velvel, please contact Sherwood Ross, media consultant to Massachusetts School of Law at Andover, at sherwoodross10@gmail.com )
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Short URL: http://www.veteranstoday.com/?p=9698
Posted by Sherwood Ross on Dec 9 2009, With 0 Reads, Filed under Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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the only thing the dean velve didn’t mention is the country of goldman sachs is now headed or presided by a “black skinned reganmanic”.
Gentlemen; It came to me in a flash again. We have our US flags, our state flags, probably our city and county flags laying around, maybe our terrorist indicator flags (red, yellow, never saw a green one yet). Why don’t we have our ‘DOLLAR’ FLAG? We could make them, I don’t know, about the same size as our American flag stationed to the left (again I don’t know) of our American flag, slightly lower of course and our state flag. I have noticed that almost every place that has more than one flagpole out front has three, so it won’t take any DOLLARs to put this idea in place.
So Gentleman, there it is. OK next question, what ‘BILL’ are we going to use for the representation of each company, state or federal office? Well here is ‘MY’ solution. The ones that don’t take’ (or make) much DOLLARS get to fly the DOLLAR flag, if they ‘take’, I mean, make more DOLLARS, they get the five (AKA, the sawbuck). The higher up they are, the bigger the domination on the flag. When the DOLLARS they ‘take’, I mean make, gets too big for ‘Bill’ representation, (Personally, I have never seen what at a million DOLLAR bill looks like, but this is a good chance to) then it switches to the DOLLAR sign shown here ‘$’ . And again, the more DOLLARS they ‘make’ (HA! got it right this time) the more DOLLAR signs (represented here as ‘$ $ $ $’), they get to put on their flag. This will have the added benefit of showing to everybody what a company or state office is REALLY worth. Of course, if you have an earnings loss, shown on your income tax 1040 (heaven and Uncle Sam forbid), then you’ll have to take a few $ $ $s off your flag.
Heck, it might even make everybody them start being honest so they can brag about their $ $ $ $ s. This will also teach our young kids about Math (sorely needed in today’s economy, yes, it’s all about money) & will also have the added ‘Trickle Down Effect’, because if your ‘smart’ in Math, you will probably know how to speak a language or two or three to get it, so ‘your little Tax deduction’s’ (AKA kid’s), Reading, Writing and Arithmetic part of learning is taken care of.
Heck, the more I think about it, the better I like it as opposed to the “No Child left Behind” tax or “A portion of the LOTTO gambling funds will pay for your child’s education tax” and/ or the old, “I don’t care if you never had any kids, you still have to pay for the schools in your state & federal taxes” tax.
So now that I thought of this plan, I’m gonna put a patent on it and sell it to Uncle Sam (for DOLLARS of course) & just like the Military’s ‘Benny Suggs’ program, I’ll stand back and wait for all those boxes full of cash to come rolling in, reaping the rewards. Stand by guys. We’re fixin to have a PARTY! “Boy, pit me an Olive”.