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GORDON DUFF: BONG FIRE ERUPTS ON ALL TERRORIST FLIGHT
“MUJAHIDEEN EXPRESS” FROM ROTTERDAM TO DEARBORN
WORLD’S ONLY “ALL TERRORIST AIRLINE” ATTACKED
By Gordon Duff STAFF WRITER/Senior Editor
According to DHS figures, the Rotterdam to Dearborn, Michigan flight, known as the “Mujahideen Express” has carried more terrorist suspects to and from North America than the CIA and Mossad combined. In a bizarre turnabout of events, a flight from Holland to the Islamic Republic of Dearborn, was nearly burned in mid air by an unauthorized unofficial “terrorist” passenger whose bong, or whatever those weird things people smoke are called, burst into flames in the first class cabin.
Among the injured, 3 terrorists were burned and 47 suspected terrorist suspects suffered from smoke inhalation. There were 150 terrorist sympathizers on the flight who were uninjured. A spokesman from the America Terrorists Federation and the Federation of Bombing and Incendiaries, the ATF and FBI, have asked for an investigation. “Why are our terrorists being singled out for this kind of attack?”
Passengers commented on today’s incident”
“Who in their right mind would attempt to blow up a plane where most of the passengers are not only on every international watch list, but also a plane whose baggage compartment carries some of the highest quality narcotics available anywhere in the world?”
As soon as the suspect was wrestled to the aisle, passengers began video taping while other passengers began formulating ransom demands. 2 stewardesses threatened to behead the suspect immediately and had to be restrained by other passengers. When officials at Dearborn International Airport, near Detroit, informed those holding the suspect hostage on the plane that they had to turn him over to authorities, the ACLU immediately filed suit in Federal District Court.
The Michigan Constitution of 1961 has provisions allowing limited human trafficking providing profits are split between local officials, including the mayor, police chief and judges. A spokesman for the Michigan Criminal and Terrorist Protective League, a non-profit organization and affiliate of the National Pistol Association, noted:
“The idea of the Feds tryin’ to horn in on a local racket is an abuse of power. I got Karl Rove’s number right here in pocket. Ever since the Chicago mob took over in Washington, they think they can squeeze us out of the rackets. Dose bums got another think commin’ if they start to mess wit us.”
The lawyer for the suspected bomber has, as we understand, demanded his client be immediately transferred to the Federal detention facility at Guantanamo, Cuba. “My client had no idea he was on a plane to Dearborn. He thought he was flying directly into Kennebunkport to meet his family who resettled there after 9/11. This has been a nightmare for him. He was going to visit his uncle who has been receiving kidney dialysis while a guest of a socially prominent family in the area.”
Veterans Today Senior Editor Gordon Duff is a Marine combat veteran and regular contributor on political and social issues.
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Short URL: http://www.veteranstoday.com/?p=9912
Posted by Gordon Duff on Dec 25 2009, With 0 Reads, Filed under 9/11. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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Stop it! My sides are aching! I love you dearly, goodnight and Merry Xmas!
Good satire.
This just oozes intelligence from every sentence. Well done! Thanks for showing the world that veterans are more than moronic people who had to join the arm forces because they had no other option.
I was expelled from clown school.
g
Hi g, A funny take on what could have been a serious (disastrous?)situation. I think you’ve had too many shopping trips to Detroit. What kind of boggles my mind is how a graduate Mechanical Engineer could have a bomb stuffed up his butt that he must have known wouldn’t work. This guy is dumber than the shoe bomber AND Hassan put together. No wonder his dad turned him in.
tom
Tom,
This is a flight I take often. I laugh myself to death going thru screening with this gang.
I wonder who is going to be using the kids $4m London apartment. I suspect that his father and I have many friends in common. (actually)
g
Well done Duff. For a second I thought it was real, then I thought, NAHHHH.
Alton
It is only too real. (to me anyway)
g
You know, it occurs to me:
1.) Since the country of India has decided they can make a lot of Money producing wine from Vineyards in India (Time inc)
2.) Since all the oil contracts from Iraq were sold to foreign oil companies (Time Inc)
3.) Turkmenistan is exporting Natural Gas to China and Iran (Time Inc)
4.) California is going through a drought and farmers are cutting down vineyards & trees to make sawdust because LA will NOT conserve water (60 Minutes) then
5.) The only thing left for Afghanistan to do is to start making Vineyards themselves to compete against the foreign invasion of Indian wine.
A little bit more ‘kick’ from the ‘poppies’ inside… Yeah it could work. We’ll might call it, Thunder/ Boone’s/ Ripple/ Mad/ Bird/ Dog/ Farm
Alton:
I am actually in the beverage business…beer, wine and liquor
http://www.bernkastelvintners.com [www.bernkastelvintners.com]
g
Beverage Business huh? Well it occurs to me about a movie I saw a lifetime ago called ‘Survivor’ I think. Had Robin Williams, Jerry Reed and Walter Matthau in it and the guy running the survivalist camp in the movie was caught with a suitcase full of papers for his Chicken Express restaurant (“they make great chicken”). Hey, everybody has to have the ‘spirit’ in them. Maybe i should look at the wall street liquor stocks with an ‘eye’ to investing….