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Military Divorces continue to increase
her story appearing in this week’s issue of Army Times notes that divorce rates in the Army and Marines continue to increase compared to the other services. The Air Force remained about even compared to a previous fiscal year, and the Navy decreased considerably. However the Marines experienced the most significant increase with the Army close behind.Robert L. Hanafin
Veterans Today Staff Writer Divorces edge up again in 9th year of war
According to the Pentagon, the divorce rate in the armed forces continues to increase despite efforts by the military to help struggling couples. There were an estimated 27,312 divorces among roughly 765,000 married members of the active-duty Army, Air Force, Navy and Marine Corps in the 12 months that ended Sept. 30, 2009.
That’s a divorce rate of about 3.6 percent, compared with 3.4 percent a year earlier, according to figures from the Defense Manpower Data Center. Marriages among reservists failed at a rate of 2.8 percent compared to 2.7 the previous year.
Maj. April Cunningham, U.S. Air Force, a Defense Department spokeswoman, said the latest year-to-year change was relatively small because the services have made available programs focused on strengthening and enriching family bonds among couples.
Still, the figures show a slow but steady increase in recent years as American forces fought the two wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
The recently reported 3.6 percent rate is a full percentage point above the 2.6 percent reported in late 2001, when the U.S. began sending troops to Afghanistan.
As in previous years, women in uniform suffered much higher divorce rates than their male counterparts: 7.7 percent compared to 3 percent for men in 2009.
There’s no comparable annual system for tracking the national or civilian divorce rate, though the Centers for Disease Control said in 2005 that 43 percent of all first marriages end in divorce within 10 years.
A spokesman for the Veterans of Foreign Wars said that, "Every marriage has controllable and uncontrollable factors, but when you interject eight years of war, preparing for war, being at war, coming home and having to think about going back to war again, and when you have children, it just has a tremendous impact on the family unit." However, the VFW also said that the military prides itself on taking care of military families.
Programs run by chaplains, mental health officials and family services agencies provide service members access to retreats, couples’ counseling, workshops and other programs aimed at easing the strain of separation. Troops and spouses are advised on how long absences may affect family relationships and how to adjust to problems that arise after homecomings. The VFW spokesman also noted that "there’s nothing you can do that will end the stress of having a loved one at war … until the war ends."
Critics complain annually that the divorce rate reported by the Pentagon comes nowhere close to depicting the damage done to marriages and families by the two ongoing wars.
An Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America (IAVA) spokesman noted that DOD "numbers seem extremely conservative, and they are not at all representative from what we’re hearing from the community."
The IAVA spokesman estimated that the marital fallout is closer to double digits than to the rate the Pentagon makes public. For example, the Pentagon number doesn’t count Veterans who divorce after leaving the services, let alone reflect other possible wartime consequences on families, such as increases in alcoholism, [PTSD and other mental health issues] or the toll on orphaned or emotionally stressed children of troops. And the numbers do not speak to troubled but intact marriages. In an Army battlefield survey taken in Iraq in the spring, nearly 22 percent of young combat soldiers questioned said they planned to get a divorce or separation, compared to 12.4 percent in a survey conducted in 2003.
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Short URL: http://www.veteranstoday.com/?p=9930
Posted by Robert L. Hanafin on Dec 27 2009, With 0 Reads, Filed under Military. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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Having worked with Air Force families overseas for five years earlier in this decade, this clinical social worker thought that these typically young couples faced many extreme challenges due to the normal cycle of deployments. But certainly, for those couples where one or both have had to deploy to a war zone, it is so much worse. And now, of course, we know that those who have seen multiple tours of duty to Afghanistan, Iraq, or both war zones could easily return with mental health issues such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. To help couples deal with the latter, I wrote the book, “The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship: How to Support Your Partner and Keep Your Relationship Healthy. I was pleased that the “Library Journal” designated it one of the “BEST BOOKS OF 2009″ since this may cause more people in need to become aware of it—so they don’t suffer silently and needlessly. We don’t want to see a repeat of what happened after the Vietnam War, certainly. Because I am old enough to have friends who saw their marriages and children harmed by the loved one’s untreated PTSD symptoms, I certainly hope that all of us try to be supportive of these families—and to build communities that are, too. If we will do so, we may well see some of these troubled marriages saved. But again, we can not expect these young couples to cope with all they face totally on their own. They definitely will need the support of others.
"Having worked with Air Force families overseas for five years earlier in this decade, this clinical social worker thought that these typically young couples faced many extreme challenges due to the normal cycle of deployments. But certainly, for those couples where one or both have had to deploy to a war zone, it is so much worse."
Thank you for posting Diane.
Unfortunately, the misperception that military families face many extreme challenges due to the normal cycle of deployments is still prevalent today among social psychologists in the Armed Forces.
You don’t indicate if you were civilian contract our uniformed officer, but my wife and I now see a 1st Lieutenant right out of a doctoral program with the Air Force who still has the same attitude, but we are talking Air Force that is only on six month rotations and members given adequate dwell (rest) time between deployments. When comparing Army ops tempo (or rotation schedule) to Air Force or Navy is like mixing apples and cabbage.
However, I personally believe what will contribute more to divorces despite the genuine help of people like you, plus board certified Psychiatrist, and Neuro Psychologists among others is that you are under Pentagon control via Chain of Command. Even Medical units have a chain of command beginning at the Pentagon.
I bet the emphasis on your counsults with patients or clients was on combat readiness which boils down to placing mission over family concerns. Unfortunately, that is a fact of life in the Armed Forces more so at wartime, and it is our Armed Force NOT our nation that is at war, the rest of us are either innocent bystanders or cheer leaders.
But as you know, eventually both the military member and family member(s) are going to have to make a very hard decision, my wife and I did for the better (resulting in a successful if not perfect marriage for over 40 years and counting). I chose family over the mission or the military.
Not everybody can of will make such a choice after figuring out what is more important to them. My family was expected to be with me lovingly for the rest of my life, the Army or Air Force was going to can me once I was of no further use or I was going to can them (retire). The choice for me was even easier because it was Peacetime.
However, we fail to forget that it is a decision that not only the military member has to make but moreso the spouse or children have to make. The military family (minus the member) has to make the hard decision of sanity over chosing their uniformed wife, or husband.
The makeup of military spouses has changed quite significantly since WWII and Vietnam. More professonal and intelligent women (and a few good men) are coming into the Armed Forces with the attitude that they are not married to the military. They married a military man or woman but not the Chain of Command.
Mind you many adapt to choice that benefit the military member to keep the family unit together, but the bias has always been toward the military member, of course the scenario gets more complex when you have military married to military.
You focus on "typically young couples" with the bias being that these divorce figures focus on young enlisted troops. This may not be the case in fact though immaturity in marriage all around has a lot to do with survival of one.
I contend that the problem of divorces in the military runs the spectrum from young enlisted to Colonels and Generals. The only way to tell what the socio-ecomonic-cultural impact of these divorces are is to break them down by rankings to see where the bulk of problems are but the entire big picture needs to be approached.
I content there are more independent and professional woman (and men) married to military members the higher up the pay scale one gets.
That said, the old cliche, "If the Army wanted you to have a wife it would have issued you one," well that crapola fits with WWII or even a Vietnam masculine, type A male attitude toward DEPENDENTS but will not fly today.
Heck even young wives (and husbands) right out of high school are not going to buy into that attitude very long and it will lead to divorce if they do.
Lastly, the Pentagon, and Medical professionals it controls, need to somehow work around the attitude of placing the mission or military promotion over one’s family. If nothing else advise and consult with young military members, even field grade officers that in order to save their marriage they will have to choose between their family and the next several deployments. What motivates them to deploy despite family instability or do they deploy to get away from their families, and so on.
We need to get away from the bias toward the military member and the mission comes first because all that is going to result in are more divorces until we have nothing but an Armed Forces of singles.
I will be posting a separate article by an Army Wife telling her story from the spouse perspective that touches on some of these concerns I mention.
Bobby Hanafin
The Mustang Major
"I wrote the book, "The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship: How to Support Your Partner and Keep Your Relationship Healthy.
This may cause more people in need to become aware of it—so they don’t suffer silently and needlessly.
I’m going to post a link to your book for any readers interested in following up Diane.
http://www.amazon.com/Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder-Relationship/dp/1598699970 [www.amazon.com]
We don’t want to see a repeat of what happened after the Vietnam War, certainly. Because I am old enough to have friends who saw their marriages and children harmed by the loved one’s untreated PTSD symptoms, I certainly hope that all of us try to be supportive of these families—and to build communities that are, too. If we will do so, we may well see some of these troubled marriages saved. But again, we can not expect these young couples to cope with all they face totally on their own. They definitely will need the support of others.
Though I make many comparisons between the Global War on Terror (regardless how defined or if one believes there is one), there are certainly vast differences.
Given the fact that we have no draft, the notion of supporting our troops or best yet not blaming our troops for failure to achieve any defined victory in Iraq or Afghanistan, or for even participating in the war(s) makes public support even from the far left fringe of our society in vogue.
However, it remains to be seen if such public support for our troops and military families should endure more than a few more decades of war. Why?
An Army General speaking at Johns Hopkins University in Maryland (his name is not important) said a very insightful thing among the many things he said that I disagree with. This factor was one that I did agree with but saw as not only unrealistic but an illusion. I believe you are possibly under the same illusion.
He said that the "overwhelming psychological support of the American populace has been staggering – something we did not see in the last extended conflict."
Then in the same breath he says, "What concerns me is that there is a level of awareness missing in the National psyche of the strain and sacrifice military families are dealing with day after day, year after year, deployment after deployment."
I interpreted his meaning to be that yes our Armed Forces does have the staggering psychological support of the American populace just as long as the American populace does not have to make any sacrifices.
The General goes on to say that, "What will ultimately prove the resilience of the All Volunteer Force – which again, I am amazed at how they have adapted to the current strain of the last seven years – is in how decisions will be made by families to leave or stay? Ultimately it is their decision to volunteer no matter how many incentives we create."
One glaring aspect that influences a military families decision to stay or go and is in fact a measure of just how much trouble the All Volunteer Force is in, as you should know, is of course the divorce rate that keeps climbing with each deployment.
The General closed by saying something we all need to give deep though to, but especially military families, because living the illusion that the General mentions here will ultimately determine the survival of an All Volunteer Force or at least the Boots on the Ground in It.
He said, "One of the factors in their decision [to stay or leave the military] – as they contemplate deployment after deployment — is whether or not they believe they are part of an Army at War, or a Nation at War. As we think about our National Security Strategy – as we engage in the primacy of an idea - it would be a great exercise as a Nation to look at how we think about sacrifice."
Diane, the General made that speech when the Pentagon propaganda program AmericaSupportsYou.mil was going strong. Not only was America Support You.mil a propaganda program, but it was a partisan poltiical program that misused and abused funds intended for military family Morale, Welfare, and Recreation (MWR) and running of Stars and Stripes. It was not the change in political administrations that shut down AmericaSupportsYou.mil, it was the Pentagon Inspector General and Military Families once they learned of the civilian leaders of ASY using MWR funds to sell not only the ASY logo but the war(s) to the American public.
This left the illusion that the nation was at war, but Diane that is all it has been an illusion.
Do you or any other reader seriously believe that our troops regardless how young really believe the nation is at war or the Army is at war?
I contend that the smart one’s, and that is most of our troops and military families, know that America is not at war, our government is at war, the defense industry is at war, anyone profitting or benefiting off the war(s) are at war, but our troops and military families are on their own.
This to me means that ewentually they too will face a similar fate as Vietnam Veterans, because there are not enough conservatives, even Veterans (conservative or not), or military families in the general population to ensure our society can relate to much less care about our returning troops and famiies.
The media, every Veterans organization, even those passionately in support of the war(s) is consistently publishing citicism of a broken VA system, how our troops are not appreciated by the general population beginning with the media, and so on.
However, I’m optimistic that as long as we never have a draft forcing the vast majority of Americans to continue cheering on our troops, we just may never have a repeat of Vietnam.
If the American public is forced to relate to the war, if the nation is truly placed on a war footing, I’m afraid that frustration and blame will shift to our troops and military families for both serving and enduring, but not winning the big game(s).
ROBERT L. HANAFIN, Major, U.S. Air Force-Retired
A Helpful BOOK for Divorced Military Personnel
I’ve read about the higher rate of divorces in the Armed Forces and thought you may want to buy and route some copies of my book to your personnel who are divorced.
My book, “Yes, There Is an Upside of Divorce – It Can Be Your Second Chance at Life!,” has received a recommendation from Self-Help-Product-Reviews and two full 5-star ratings from my first Amazon reviewers.
My book is based on my own personal experiences with divorce – both the negative issues and the many more POSITIVE sides that can exist AFTER divorce too. I believe it can help many of the millions of us who suffer through a divorce and separation each year in our country.
I can show them how to handle the most difficult issues of divorce more easily and quickly than I did myself. I can then help them to move on to their real second chance at life, where you will see the many more positive sides and opportunities that are there for them after divorce. The many new things-to-do that I did to make it a happier and more enjoyable rest-of-life for myself, may also help them do the same.
My book is sold on amazon.com at http://www.amazon.com/There-Upside-Divorce-Second-Chance/dp/1419693042/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1227647686&sr=1-1
(or search “upside of divorce” in Books.)
GET THE LOWEST BOOK PRICES HERE! I have self published my book at Book Surge (division of Amazon) and can sell it to you directly via my own website if you want to save some $2 to $5 on more copies at http://self-help-products-and-services.com/index.html
Buy your book copies on my Books page, by pushing the Books tab or button on the left side of any page of my website. For orders of 2, 4 and 6 copies or more, I can offer a 10%, 20% and 30% discount respectively, including reduced shipping cost per book too.
Use Pay Pal to enter your desired copies of the book. Then enter your US zip code for your discounted S&H charge and pay your total cost. James@Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com will prepare and ship your order to your address the next business day after receipt of funds through Pay Pal.
I believe you will find some good help here in my book.
Thanks for your consideration here, Brian Daniel
This is what the cause is
Identify Hippo Press and UL 12-28-09
Peter Macdonald 465 Packers falls Rd Lee NH 03824 603-659-6217
The Hippo press, which is a common read newspaper at the Manchester NH VA, refuses to print my letters. The Truth and individual no longer matter when it comes to responsibility and ethics. For the good of the majority is a catch all phrase that people use to manipulate the law to gain public support. The smallest to NH’s largest newspaper do not see the need to tell their readers of a Military veteran’s situation of government wrongs hurting many silent disabled Veterans. Censoring this U.S. Military Veteran’s opinion is common practice making it hippo critical that we are the ones that fought to keep Freedom of the Press.
My letters are scary, but accurate in the details of what it is like in my head. My descriptions portrait the scenes many other veterans tell me they live daily with but can not tell others about. I write many times with out remembering the letter but read it and know that I have been there. At any moment some innocent happening can trigger my trip to my other world. Last week at the Exeter Hospital the staff called it a seizure the VA calls it PTSD. The VA stopped my medical for my four service connected; combat related disabilities to stop my opinion. This morning I left Young’s restaurant for a few minutes because the same happening that put me in the Exeter hospital happen. The VA gave me an appointment next month to pad their records of helping a disabled veteran in trouble. The appointment will be a routine pass over with a doctor and no treatment will come out of it. How many silent veterans are left alone with nothing because no one hears the sounds of freedom from a has-been.
NH State Senator Amanda Merrill turned out to be a typical non-effective elected official since she took office. All our elected officials refuse to get involved with the Veterans causes unless it is election time and they can exploit the situation to increase their chances of getting elected. The grass root that it is the individual’s guaranteed rights that matter no longer concern those that use those very rights to effectively limit or end the life of those that defended it for you. The Hippo press is no different than all the others across the U.S. Society is afraid of the returning veteran that cannot cover the effects of what we became. The veteran that lives silently with their family being quietly dismantled, to become homeless on the street can stay free. Those that act out or become violent get jail because society cannot grasp that the demons in our head is what allowed us to survive to come home to what we did it for. I volunteer to help others but NH took that away by declaring me a Terrorist and put me in jail.
Effectively the state of NH, the VA with the help of the newspapers have publicly demonstrated just why our forefathers deemed the opinion letters of the people was so important to our freedom.
Peter Macdonald Sgt USMC Semper Fi
Brother McDonald,
You evidently have a problem with the VA that many of our readers can realate to, but what does that have to do with divorces in the Armed Forces?
Rather than delete your comment I’m reposting it on one of our Veterans Administration posts where someone just might reply to it in ways that are more helpful than I can provide. I’m not a Veterans Service Officer, or lawyer specilizing in taking on the VA, I wish I was.
To my knowledge the Veterans Service Organization with the longest expertise in running interference with the VA is the Disabled American Veterans (DAV), although today every VSO has a Veterans Service Officer of somekind assigned even at state level. Add to that the many county Veterans offices and the ability to help you with claims is great compared to after Vietnam.
Problem is as you mention, the system and those who manuever through it is OVERWHELMED.
You know that your own case is nothing but a voice crying in the wilderness unless you get help. Ranting and raving here is not going to get what you want from the VA.
In fact a Google search of your name and address, you definitely have nothing to hide Bro, shows that you’ve done alot of posting on Veterans, and political blogs across the blogosphere and New Hampshire. I’m not knocking you on this for you have a story to tell that needs telling, but yours is what among how many other RELATED stories.
Point: Peter you are burning up a lot of energy and effort that could go toward (be focused) on taking on your VA system right there is New Hampshire. The media is not going to give a rat’s ass about one Vets problem with the VA, a politician is going to handle it as a constituent service and nothing else unless you can raise his/her pucker factor.
My best advice to you is get a half decent lawyer who knows at least what the VA is. If what you say about the VA taking your 100% service-connection away from you is accurate, hell sue the bastards. Direct all your energy, frustration, assuming you are frustrated, and passion through a lawyer at the VA. By all means DO NOT turn the cannons on yourself and blame yourself for all these problems with the VA.
Tips: You mention working through a local state Senator.
"NH State Senator Amanda Merrill turned out to be a typical non-effective elected official since she took office. All our elected officials refuse to get involved with the Veterans causes unless it is election time and they can exploit the situation to increase their chances of getting elected."
OK Bro, I’m not being sarcastic here but, "a typical non-effective elected official since she took office. All our elected officials refuse to get involved with the Veterans causes unless it is election time and they can exploit the situation to increase their chances of getting elected" you are just finding this out.
That’s a fact, and you are talking about someone who really can’t help Veterans unless you are talking New Hampshire National Guard troops.
You also mention not being liberal, conservative, or whatever GREAT, but if you contact any politician if pays to be registered in the same party, and have done something anything for that politician. Even if it was something as simple as showing up and signing up for door to door handouts for Veterans for Whomever.
Point: You are in a stronger position to get that politician or this politican to make a stronger case for you with the VA (simple constitutent service turned TURBO) if you tell said politician if you don’t straighten out my case with the VA next time you hit the campaign trail, I’m gonna be in every crowd with signs saying just how Veteran UNFRIENDLY you are.
Bro if you are registered to vote in the same party as said politician, take my word for it they will believe you.
Your Freedom of Speech give you are right and WELCOME to post on Veterans Today, but your posts would be more effective if posted on topic. I’m not the first Brother to tell you this. But at least I took the time to tell you rather than ignore you.
Bobby Hanafin
The Mustang Major
Hey Bro I realize that what you are saying is in your mind real. What is reality. I have been at this along time in many different paths. I never leave a path only add new ones to it. I send out over 2800 letters a day to different blogs, forums, newspapers, politicians, judges and people. You are probably right in what you say but my mind tells me to inform as many citizens as posible to make them aware, You might believe but it is not true that the law must be obeyed. People and government officials just don’t care unless it benefits them. This letter does pertain to divorce because this subject is one of the root causes of divorce for military families.
Peter Macdonald and I do thank you for any help that you give me.
[...] December I posted an article Military Divorces continue to increase, a spokesman for the Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) said [...]