FACEBOOK
TWITTER
Home Fires: I Wanted to Be a Hero
Left: The author and her family.
By Catherine Ross The New York Times
Not too many weeks ago, I was honorably discharged from the Army. There was no fanfare, no hail and farewell party, no speeches. I finished out my eight-year enlistment with the Reserves quietly, simply having done my part, including a year-long combat tour in Iraq in 2003 and 2004.
My military service ended when I received a manila envelope in the mail containing an honorable discharge certificate. Perforations on the top and bottom, plus the sight of my name printed by a computer, gave it an impersonal feel. I pictured my certificate being mechanically printed and stamped as part of a chain of thousands. Uncle Sam didn’t need me anymore.
It’s not that I expected President Obama himself to personally acknowledge that I had completed my obligation. I wasn’t waiting for Defense Secretary Gates to show up on my doorstep to give me a pat on the back. Honestly, I’m not too sure what I was expecting.
The author and her family.Courtesy of Catherine Ross. The author and her family.
I just know that I wasn’t expecting my time of service to end so anticlimactically at my mailbox.
The plug was pulled on a part of me, and I could feel the sense of pride and purpose that comes with being a soldier suddenly drained away. At this point in the game, I fully expected to feel fulfilled instead of sick to my gut. I had accomplished everything I set out to do: serve my country in combat, earn my jump wings, and get some student loans paid off. I had done all of that and more. So I shouldn’t have felt as though I had unfinished business. But I did.
During my many night time guard shifts in Iraq, my eyes and ears would be scanning my sector, but my mind would be rehashing whatever mission I had been on during the day. I’d find myself imagining alternate versions of events in which I would save the day for scores of fellow soldiers and innocent Iraqis in the face of unspeakable danger and ridiculous odds. Every mission – from rebuilding schools to finding insurgents – ended in complete success. I’d like to blame my runaway imagination on anti-malarial pills, but really what it came down to was this: I wanted to be a hero.
Read more at The New York Times
Related Posts:
Short URL: http://www.veteranstoday.com/?p=10061
Posted by Bob Higgins on Jan 8 2010, With 0 Reads, Filed under Heroes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
COMMENTS
To post, we ask that you login using Facebook, Yahoo, AOL, or Hotmail in the box below.Don't have a social network account? Register and Login direct with VT and post.
Before you post, read our Comment Policy - Feedback
