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Woman Vows to Marry a Corporation in Protest of Corrupt Supreme Court Ruling, Citizens United v. FCC
Sarah "echo" Steiner hopes to find a groom as well-endowed as the king_
Sarah “echo” Steiner held a press conference last Saturday to announce her upcoming wedding. She hasn’t picked a groom yet, but she’s hoping a month-long, exhaustive search will help her find the perfect suitor.
Eric Barton in the Broward-Palm Beach New Times
Her ideal candidate will aim to do no harm, have lots of employees, and be exorbitantly wealthy. “Of course, I’m looking for someone well endowed,” she explains, “and with staying power.”
The ideal spouse will also be registered with local and state governments as a business. Steiner, you see, is trying to be perhaps the first person in history to marry a corporation.
The effort is something of a political stunt. Steiner, a 39-year-old member of the Green Party from Lake Worth, wants to bring attention to the one-year anniversary of a Supreme Court ruling [CITIZENS UNITED v. FEDERAL ELECTION COMM’N ( No. 08-205 )]that gave corporations the same rights as a person when it comes to political donations.
Bonnie Redding, the secretary of the Green Party of Florida, says the idea was all Steiner’s. “We were just sitting around one day and [Steiner] said, ‘If a corporation is a person, then I’m going to find one and marry it.’” Redding acknowledges the stunt is “pretty ridiculous,” but she hopes it’ll make a bigger point about the problems giving corporations broad rights in donating to political parties.
Once Steiner finds an ideal business to marry, she plans to head down to the courthouse to get a marriage certificate. She’ll argue that the Supreme Court’s ruling gives corporations other rights typically given only to a person, like the right to marry.
She already found one company interested, a single-proprietor video company from Ithica, New York.
“Just like all first loves, it had my heart all aflutter,” Steiner says.
But then she realized what she really needed was a larger more high-profile business to share her home. Once settled on the right company, she plans to have a wedding shower, a registry, and a full-on wedding. She even created a Facebook page announcing the plans.
To get there, she’ll need to convince the Palm Beach County Clerk of Courts office to give her a marriage certificate. We have a call in to the clerks office to find out if it’s legal.
Steiner says she hasn’t considered what to do if she’s turned away. “I’m not sure what we’d do next,” she said. “We haven’t put a lot of thought into a long-term strategy here.”
But whatever happens, Steiner figures she’ll be better off than trying the Palm Beach County singles scene. A Lake Worth native, she had “a shotgun wedding” at 16 that lasted just two years. She hoped to be married again by 40, but as it approaches in September, a corporation may be her best suitor.
“I haven’t found the right man, but there are plenty of corporations out there,” she said.
Steiner and the Green Party will hold a press conference to officially announce the wedding plans at 2 p.m. Saturday, January 22, at the Little Owl Bar in Lake Worth. Potential business suitors are urged to attend. Bring flowers.
UPDATE: Palm Beach County Clerk of Court spokeswoman Kathy Burstein emailed a response that explained the courthouse “wouldn’t be allowed to issue a marriage license” based on Florida statute 741.04. The law requires anyone seeking a marriage license show up personally at the courthouse, recite an oath, and turn over a social security number. Unfortunately, the Burger King appears to be out as a possible suitor. An appeal is likely.
Short URL: http://www.veteranstoday.com/?p=75005
Posted by Yanira Farray on Jan 22 2011, With 0 Reads, Filed under Corruption, Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro?
[...] the original article at Veterans Today [...]
I really think this mousy chick should marry Mickey. Or maybe her pet dog. Or horse. It would have more pseudo-political significance.
Sarah may want to consider joining this support group:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4GmxeWY06w
If Sarah would like to marry a really wealthy spouse, How about a quasi governmental tax free corporation as her beau. Interested observers have been reporting for some time now that there is a vast treasure trove buried in plain sight, and off the tax rolls.
As for Sarah’s best man, how about Dov Zackheim who when most of us last checked,was at the Pentagon helping Dick Cheney protect us on 911, and maybe still looking for the missing 2 trillion dollars he and his associates misplaced somewhere.
He’s now a vice president at Booz Allen Hamilton.
Does anybody doubt that he’s doing more good things for us there, helping us out the best that he can?
Or maybe Sarah could have Booz Allen Hamilton itself as the best man, and when the guests start tossing Rice, Zackheim can let the Doves fly.
Or could we suggest that Sarah may be even happier with Blackwater in her life. The difficulty there is that there is no extradition treaty with Dubai, where they have their headquarters, so it looks as though they plan to be late for the ceremonies. Same with KBR, Cheney’s old cronies. While Sarah could travel to Dubai to marry KBR, why is that they don’t seem to want to appear in America? Could it have something to do with calling upon them to be part of ceremonies that would call upon a Justice of the Peace to preside over?
Is it amazing, they claim to want to protect us Americans, yet they seem to appear not to want to explain anything at all to us in America in a court of law. Wonder why?
But best wishes to Sarah in her search for a compatible “person”.
This brings to mind the words of Dr. King when he said that, “What the movement needed was someone who is ‘creatively maladjusted.’”
Have we finally found exactly what the good Doctor called for?
As for carrying the bride over the threshold, haven’t they practiced that enough already?
It’s a crazy idea but since a corporation is now a “person” why not marry one. Only don’t both “people” have to want to marry each other. And how about the blood tests. As far as I know a corporation doesn’t have any blood. How can you have blood without a heart?