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The VA in 3D: Urine Uranus (Part 5)
Having survived a month at the Michael E. DeBakey VA Medical Center, I’m back home, where I feel safe again. In celebration I offer my readers another article in my exposee series, The VA in 3D. I’ll enjoy a bit of levity before reporting in my next article how the hospital took a final, deadly swipe at me before my Thursday release.
On Tuesday, 9/20/11, I posted Part 4, Wished Well, and within hours was visited by a seven-member team of psychiatrists, sent to evaluate my sanity. It was our such second bedside rendezvous. The same team had visited a couple of weeks earlier — also to evaluate my sanity, which they certified after a pleasant conversation in which I demonstrated that I knew when it was, where I was and that I could count backward.
Their leader was Dr. Po, an elegant Chinese gentleman from Chicago, who mentioned that he was familiar with the city’s Shaolin temple. His well-chosen, wise utterances fixed him in my mind as Master Po from the hit 70′s TV show Kung Fu, and it was impossible for me to suppress this linkage whenever he spoke.
Master Po’s followers asked me whether there was any friction between me and the nurses. I told them that the thousands of Internet publications of and references to my articles on Ward 3D had certainly caused friction between me.and the members of the staff whom I had exposed.
Master Po nodded wisely, and his disciples whispered that those under whom a fire had been lit would often burn with anger.
Master Po’s followers asked me why I had used the word “bullshit” on Wednesday, 9/14/11, in response to the refusal of Nurse Yolanda Bullock’s refusal to change my condom catheter. I told them that Bullock had refused my request a couple of hours after I had posted my third 3D article, Prescribed Punishment. It had identified Bullock’s boss, 3D Head Nurse Donna Carter, as the leader of administration retaliation against me for reporting its crimes and cover-ups to my readers and the VA Inspector General. Bullock’s refusal had simply been a petty act of retaliation, and she immediately reported it to Carter and my lead physician, Dr. Murugen, as a refusal purely for medical reasons, out of a deep concern for my welfare. She had already made the same claim to me, evoking my “bullshit” comment. Carter loudly endorsed Bullock’s decision, as did Murugen, who soon appeared to chide me for being contrary with those who only wanted to help me.
I told Master Po’s disciples that I had worn condom catheters for the last four years, and knew very well when one was about to fall off. I added that, a few hours later, during my next time of need, the one declared serviceable by Bullock, Carter and Murugen popped off, proving my point and leaving me perturbed in a puddle.
Master Po nodded wisely, and his disciples whispered that when a man knows that he will be pissed on it is only natural that he will be pissed off about it.
It seemed to me that we all saw the reality behind the rationalization that my tiffs with Bullock and Carter required an insanity inquest, therefore I asked whether they agreed with me that, in this case, a political issue was being dressed up as a psychological issue.
Master Po nodded wisely, and his disciples whispered that this was indeed the case. Then Master Po, raising his index finger in admonition,
commanded silence.
“Yes, I agree with you,” the sage said. “Do you agree with me, though, that every political conflict has a psychological component?”
I answered yes and was asked no more questions. After a few polite remarks, Master Po gracefully turned away, and as his followers followed him out of the room I heard them say that, although they had been sent on a fools’ errand they, were wise enough to know it.
After they were gone I used an average rate of $200 per hour per psychiatrist, and estimated that the psychiatric department’s pair of visits and post-visit reports had cost the VA around $5000. Mind you this is in a hospital that had refused me, a quadriplegic ventilator patient, a $50 oximeter to make sure that I didn’t slide into a coma, and a $5 condom catheter change to make sure I didn’t wet my bed. Of course the psychiatrists, dutifully following hospital orders, weren’t responsible for the crazy cost. On the contrary, overall I found them to be the sanest group in an insane institution, and, just before they left, made sure to tell them so.
Thus our exchange had ended in the comic column that you are reading instead of a tragic a tragic transfer to psychiatric ward that my enemies had intended. To demonstrate my appreciation for the efforts of Bullock, Carter and Murugen, I’m quite content to present them with this extract from the Late Renaissance classic, Maxima Metaphysica, attributed to Newton and translated by me:
“When you space out, probably you’re in Uranus, which is your whole world. However, even though your attraction to Uranus is perpetual, you must remember that it is not the paradise you imagine, but really a gaseous giant with rings around it, filled with methane. Be careful not to become trapped in Uranus. To leave will be quite difficult, but if you focus and push, you will gradually force your head out of Uranus, and the rest of you will follow. Since Uranus is visible to the unaided eye on Earth, some will see that you have passed through Uranus. and even despise you, saying that once you’ve entered Uranus you will want to go back again and again. Notwithstanding you should bear up bravely, and try to conceal that leaving Uranus has made you deterred.”
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Short URL: http://www.veteranstoday.com/?p=141867
Posted by Captain May on Oct 4 2011, With 0 Reads, Filed under Editors Picks, Vet News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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“Master Po nodded wisely, and his disciples whispered that when a man knows that he will be pissed on it is only natural that he will be pissed off about it”.
Precisely….get pissed-off America!
Fascinating story. So glad you survived. I look forward to the day when the tables turn on all those folk who are so willing to do harm to others. Just like the brutal, low IQ ‘cops’ in New York, there are so many people who think that they are immune from retaliation, either by people or by God. Because they feel so protected by their uniforms and the institutions that seem so powerful at the moment, they abuse and brutalize innocent people who have legitimate complaints.
But wealth takes wings and flies, in a moment in can happen…Like the author Victor Hugo in Les Miserable wrote of Napopleon in his analysis of the Battle of Waterloo, what finally defeated Napoleon was that ‘He vexed God’. What defeated Napoleon was something so purely simple as a country-boy guide who didn’t tell him about a large ditch in the field of battle, something that Napoleon couldn’t see. When his cavalrymen reached it they just all fell into it, one on top of the other. Let’s pray for something like that ‘ditch’ in this present field of battle, some gift from God that the enemy hasn’t expected…like maybe the Marines stepping in, or the Marine Corps vets as has been reported…
I loathe psychiatrists as a profession in the US, because they are the worst of the worst medical racketeers, and I am working to put some heat under them. Psychologists are somewhat better, because in most states, they can’t prescribe drugs or shock you into a coma. I DO have friends who are psychiatrists, and they are doing what they can from within. Seriously, I think it will take a lot of civil lawsuits and RICO criminal charges, before things improve.
So I am very glad to hear that you escaped the clutches of the psychiatrists at the VA, and that they were sane! It’s a miracle! Most of the psychiatrists in my city are nuttier than fruitcakes, especially those who run the psychiatric hospitals. They take sane people with curable problems, give them a psychiatric label, some drugs, and presto! They have a patient FOR LIFE.
Glad to hear you’re free. I hope there’s someone to take care of you and make sure you’re safe.
Ken Kesey once told the story of that Med Center, that ward and those nurses in a book entitled “One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest.”
I wish you better luck than had Randle McMurphy, and an easier and more practical escape than the “rough love’ provided him at the hands of Chief Bramden. Perhaps the Celestial Shrink will provide.
Don’t panic… stay low and keep moving…..
Earlaiman
Dear Captain,
Even in the company of fools you find humor. This article was excellent and well written. 42411
Soldier on Captain.
We pray you will be protected.
you left out the part where Mastuh Ho said; “weed hoppah, when you can pebble this snatch from my hand…you are ready to be a Goldman Sachs Broker..”
it was in Episode 23, ‘Kwai Chang meets Godzilla’, I thnk.
Holloween time again, lets scare the people with real horror stories(HOW THE VA REALLY WORKS). I was forced into a VA mental ward back in 2007, while waiting for my son to come home from Iraq. I was released after five days were stolen by the Cleveland VA in order to cover-up for an incompident VA C&P doctor. I also beat the claim on appeal. Now I have on legally aquired audio tapes the VA officals at Wade park VA hospital saying it was all done to scare me and intimidate me. DIDN’T WORK, only pissed me off and now they are afaid of me.
The VA says they did this under an Ohio state law??? When does the Federal govenment act under state Law?? Even if they did , it was still illegal. Now the VA wants to send me out for my mental health on Fee basis care as i’m 100% disabled on mt nerves alone, TOO LATE. NOW LIVE WITH WHAT HAPPENS.
Captain,
Some good news amongst all the bad news: The Wall St. protesters have decided to target the Dallas Federal Reserve. That’s more like it!
Also, the blow-dried Governor of Texas is sinking fast in the polls.
I hope to see Part 6 of your VA exposure soon (pun intended).
Yom Kippur started yesterday, and ends today at sundown. Hopefully, we will still all be in one piece tomorrow.
More news today: Predator and Reaper drones are infected with a keystroke logger virus. From today’s Daily Mail in the UK, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2046660/U-S-drones-killed-American-Al-Qaeda-boss-infected-virus-amid-fears-terrorists-logging-move.html.
Dear Captain May,im so glad that you are outta there,despite all the unimaginable suffering you surely kept your humor,guess that’s the only way to endure such tragedy,wishing you all the best…
Eric,
These stories are terrible. Hopefully you’re in better hands now.
Don’t forget – Master Po was murdered by the Prince.
Good luck.
PAM