“I Am Sorry That It Has Come to This” : A Soldier’s Last Words
By Daniel SOMERS (USA)
Daniel Somers was a veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom. He was part of Task Force Lightning, an intelligence unit. In 2004-2005, he was mainly assigned to a Tactical Human-Intelligence Team (THT) in Baghdad, Iraq, where he ran more than 400 combat missions as a machine gunner in the turret of a Humvee, interviewed countless Iraqis ranging from concerned citizens to community leaders and and government officials, and interrogated dozens of insurgents and terrorist suspects.
In 2006-2007, Daniel worked with Joint Special Operations Command (JSOC) through his former unit in Mosul where he ran the Northern Iraq Intelligence Center.
His official role was as a senior analyst for the Levant (Lebanon, Syria, Jordan, Israel, and part of Turkey). Daniel suffered greatly from PTSD and had been diagnosed with traumatic brain injury and several other war-related conditions. On June 10, 2013, Daniel wrote the following letter to his family before taking his life. Daniel was 30 years old. His wife and family have given permission to publish it on Gawker.
______________________________________
Daniel Somers
I am sorry that it has come to this.
The fact is, for as long as I can remember my motivation for getting up every day has been so that you would not have to bury me. As things have continued to get worse, it has become clear that this alone is not a sufficient reason to carry on. The fact is, I am not getting better, I am not going to get better, and I will most certainly deteriorate further as time goes on. From a logical standpoint, it is better to simply end things quickly and let any repercussions from that play out in the short term than to drag things out into the long term.
You will perhaps be sad for a time, but over time you will forget and begin to carry on. Far better that than to inflict my growing misery upon you for years and decades to come, dragging you down with me. It is because I love you that I can not do this to you. You will come to see that it is a far better thing as one day after another passes during which you do not have to worry about me or even give me a second thought. You will find that your world is better without me in it.
I really have been trying to hang on, for more than a decade now. Each day has been a testament to the extent to which I cared, suffering unspeakable horror as quietly as possible so that you could feel as though I was still here for you. In truth, I was nothing more than a prop, filling space so that my absence would not be noted. In truth, I have already been absent for a long, long time.
My body has become nothing but a cage, a source of pain and constant problems. The illness I have has caused me pain that not even the strongest medicines could dull, and there is no cure. All day, every day a screaming agony in every nerve ending in my body. It is nothing short of torture. My mind is a wasteland, filled with visions of incredible horror, unceasing depression, and crippling anxiety, even with all of the medications the doctors dare give. Simple things that everyone else takes for granted are nearly impossible for me. I can not laugh or cry. I can barely leave the house. I derive no pleasure from any activity. Everything simply comes down to passing time until I can sleep again. Now, to sleep forever seems to be the most merciful thing.
You must not blame yourself. The simple truth is this: During my first deployment, I was made to participate in things, the enormity of which is hard to describe. War crimes, crimes against humanity. Though I did not participate willingly, and made what I thought was my best effort to stop these events, there are some things that a person simply can not come back from. I take some pride in that, actually, as to move on in life after being part of such a thing would be the mark of a sociopath in my mind. These things go far beyond what most are even aware of.
To force me to do these things and then participate in the ensuing coverup is more than any government has the right to demand. Then, the same government has turned around and abandoned me. They offer no help, and actively block the pursuit of gaining outside help via their corrupt agents at the DEA. Any blame rests with them.
Beyond that, there are the host of physical illnesses that have struck me down again and again, for which they also offer no help. There might be some progress by now if they had not spent nearly twenty years denying the illness that I and so many others were exposed to. Further complicating matters is the repeated and severe brain injuries to which I was subjected, which they also seem to be expending no effort into understanding. What is known is that each of these should have been cause enough for immediate medical attention, which was not rendered.
Lastly, the DEA enters the picture again as they have now managed to create such a culture of fear in the medical community that doctors are too scared to even take the necessary steps to control the symptoms. All under the guise of a completely manufactured “overprescribing epidemic,” which stands in stark relief to all of the legitimate research, which shows the opposite to be true. Perhaps, with the right medication at the right doses, I could have bought a couple of decent years, but even that is too much to ask from a regime built upon the idea that suffering is noble and relief is just for the weak.
However, when the challenges facing a person are already so great that all but the weakest would give up, these extra factors are enough to push a person over the edge.
Is it any wonder then that the latest figures show 22 veterans killing themselves each day? That is more veterans than children killed at Sandy Hook, every single day. Where are the huge policy initiatives? Why isn’t the president standing with those families at the state of the union? Perhaps because we were not killed by a single lunatic, but rather by his own system of dehumanization, neglect, and indifference.
It leaves us to where all we have to look forward to is constant pain, misery, poverty, and dishonor. I assure you that, when the numbers do finally drop, it will merely be because those who were pushed the farthest are all already dead.
And for what? Bush’s religious lunacy? Cheney’s ever growing fortune and that of his corporate friends? Is this what we destroy lives for
Since then, I have tried everything to fill the void. I tried to move into a position of greater power and influence to try and right some of the wrongs. I deployed again, where I put a huge emphasis on saving lives. The fact of the matter, though, is that any new lives saved do not replace those who were murdered. It is an exercise in futility.
Then, I pursued replacing destruction with creation. For a time this provided a distraction, but it could not last. The fact is that any kind of ordinary life is an insult to those who died at my hand. How can I possibly go around like everyone else while the widows and orphans I created continue to struggle? If they could see me sitting here in suburbia, in my comfortable home working on some music project they would be outraged, and rightfully so.
I thought perhaps I could make some headway with this film project, maybe even directly appealing to those I had wronged and exposing a greater truth, but that is also now being taken away from me. I fear that, just as with everything else that requires the involvement of people who can not understand by virtue of never having been there, it is going to fall apart as careers get in the way.
The last thought that has occurred to me is one of some kind of final mission. It is true that I have found that I am capable of finding some kind of reprieve by doing things that are worthwhile on the scale of life and death. While it is a nice thought to consider doing some good with my skills, experience, and killer instinct, the truth is that it isn’t realistic. First, there are the logistics of financing and equipping my own operation, then there is the near certainty of a grisly death, international incidents, and being branded a terrorist in the media that would follow. What is really stopping me, though, is that I simply am too sick to be effective in the field anymore. That, too, has been taken from me.
Thus, I am left with basically nothing. Too trapped in a war to be at peace, too damaged to be at war. Abandoned by those who would take the easy route, and a liability to those who stick it out—and thus deserve better. So you see, not only am I better off dead, but the world is better without me in it
This is what brought me to my actual final mission. Not suicide, but a mercy killing. I know how to kill, and I know how to do it so that there is no pain whatsoever. It was quick, and I did not suffer. And above all, now I am free. I feel no more pain. I have no more nightmares or flashbacks or hallucinations. I am no longer constantly depressed or afraid or worried.
I am free.
I ask that you be happy for me for that. It is perhaps the best break I could have hoped for. Please accept this and be glad for me.
Daniel Somers
Source: Gawker
ORIENTAL REVIEW’s note:
Today the US-led coalition is apparently going to another war. The civilizational catastrophe plotted in the Middle East would by far exceed everything experienced by the US Army and their families at homes before. Iraq, Afghanistan and even Vietnam would fade away if slaughtering of the Shiite strongholds in Syria and Iran starts. An unprecedented carnage of the ancient civilization in the Middle East would result in dramatic collapse of the West as we know it. Many will envy Daniel Somers and follow his path. But it is still not too late to rethink Syrian policy…
GPD
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Posted by GPD on August 27, 2013, With 0 Reads, Filed under Of Interest. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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15 Responses to "“I Am Sorry That It Has Come to This”: A Soldier’s Last Words"
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I found the words. War is not normal for the human species. It is not within us to kill and maim our fellow man.
War is sport of kings, not real people.
Let’s give Obumma’s daughters rifles and send them to Syria. See if the offspring of kings fare any better than normal folks thrust into an unnatural situation.
This shit (war) has been going on for 8,000 years of recorded history, with the same frickin’ results.
Even Nazi soldiers committed suicide in WWII.
No human can endure the pain from this type of guilt. We are humans, not machines. We do not want war.
Screw Obumma, screw Kerry. Hang the bastards for treason, after a fair trial, of coarse!
Rest in peace Daniel.
Such letters can cause a change. Why do not have more veterans (from the poor 22 each day) the courage to write some lines?
God bless your family, Daniel Somers! Your courage was extraordinary to the end.
I sincerely hate to AGAIN be the bad guy to point out what no one else seems willing around here but…
I have a real problem with this statement: “I was made to participate in things, the enormity of which is hard to describe. War crimes, crimes against humanity. Though I did not participate willingly…”
This is THE problem here. This young man had a choice and was not forced to commit war crimes!! He can blame no one but himself for his crimes and I suppose falling on his own sword is probably the honorable thing to do.
It really amazes me to hear you military folks blaming your government for your problems when you made the informed choice to join an organization that kills people for a living, their own included. Yeah, I’ve heard all the excuses before so save them! I even considered one of the military academies out of high school and had everything in line to take a spot but one thing kept me from signing on that dotted line. I knew that I did not want to be a part of anything to do with killing other people.
You cannot tell me new recruits don’t know that this is a possibility when you join the biggest killing machine the history of man has ever known.
If all you good military people will put down your weapons and simply refuse to fight the bankster wars any longer, they would end!! Rich people don’t do their own fighting!! This insanity only continues because you don’t have the courage or the humanity to tell your psychopath politicians and generals to suck off.
Matt
@mpennery
The point you’re missing is that these young fellas are often recruited out of Rothschild bankster deliberately created poverty in civvy street in the first place. When you’re unemployed for months or even years on end, a career in the military looks very attractive. Once on a regular pay packet in a job where you’re not meant to think, just follow orders, you’re not likely going to the rock the boat that readily.
What’s the penalty for mutiny in the ranks these days? It must involve Courts Marshall at least.
You’re self-rightiousness reeks just a bit.
That said, most people in this country know who really runs the gov, or controls the wars, who benefits. They have been conditioned from birth to believe what they are told, and obey. If they knew the truth from the beginning, they would likely not participate.
This scenario, along with ALL the “other” related ‘Veterans Issues’ was a fore-known factor.
It was well calculated into the equation, as a ‘positive’, by the usual suspects, both in the individual sphere, and the collective effect that would be visited upon the U.S. population.
In other words, they knew it would be happening. They knew it would wipe out another American Generation. They knew it would demoralize a vast number of the population in the U.S.
They wanted it that way. They made it happen. They want more of the same. They laugh together over it, behind closed doors.
These are powerful words. Perhaps this suicide note will help others to awaken to the vicious, vile, ruthless and deranged enemy in our midst. If so, then Daniel Somers died for honorable and noble causes.
As the “Jews” have ascended in money, power and influence our moral judgement, character and trust in each other has steadily deteriorated. Coincidence? Their money cartel leaves only war, destruction and misery in it’s wake.
I don’t have the words, rest in peace.
When military recruiters come to your high school, pass out copies of this to members of the audience.
…………….and also Pat Tillman.
Try this guide.
http://www.computerhope.com/issues/ch001328.htm#1
I skimmed over it and it appears correct.
If you left-click your mouse over the text, drag it across the text, it will be highlighted, usually in blue. Then, in the top left of your browser, under the Edit tab, click “Copy”. Then, open up a word processor, email program or any program that uses text. Left lick once on the open page to move the cursor onto the page, then hit “Paste” under the Edit tab. The text will appear on the page and you can save the letter as a document or email file.
John;
Get a small inexpensive “Thumb drive”. Plug it into your computer. Copy the letter onto that. Take it to any internet cafe, that has print out capabilities and they’ll run off as many copies as you like, form the copy on your thumb drive.