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USA Seeks to Join Russian Federation

by  Kevin BarrettVeterans Today Editor

 

A "Putin for President" search gets 115 million results

A “Putin for President” search gets 115 million results

Fed up with their nation’s corrupt, mendacious, ineffectual leadership, a group of Americans is seeking to join the Russian Federation.

“We are collecting signatures for a national referendum on whether to remain a failed state – an economic basket case run by criminal oligarchs – or to join the Russian Federation under a President with a proven track record of bringing oligarchs to heel,” said Bill Blatsky, head of the Join Russia – Putin for President committee.

Referendum proponents point out that the US has deep historic ties with Russia. “Nearly 20% of the United States consists of Alaska, which was historically Russian territory,” Blatsky explains.”

Even today, Sarah Palin can look out her window across the Bering Strait, see the glittering lights of Vladivostok, and sigh longingly, wishing she were over there in a civilized country, where an ignorant hick like her wouldn’t stand a chance of getting elected dogcatcher.

Why would Americans wish to remain in a nation that would even contemplate putting such a person within a heartbeat of its presidency? By joining the Russian Federation, we would become part of a country with at least a semblance of an educational system.”

The Putin for President movement points out that America’s West Coast from San Francisco northward – the coolest part of the USA – is also arguably a historic part of Russia. “It isn’t just Alaska,” Blatsky explained.

“There is a reason that the world’s leading marijuana producer, Humboldt County, California, is named after the Russian explorer and marijuana connoisseur Alexander Von Humboldt, who planted the Russian flag on these shores but forgot about it due to short-term memory dysfunction.

Unfortunately, I can’t remember what that reason is. And let’s not forget that Bohemian Grove, where America’s criminal oligarchs meet annually to plot their plunder, is on the Russian River. Wouldn’t it be great if Putin sent a battleship up that river and arrested all those guys?”

Opponents argue that a join-Russia referendum would be unconstitutional. Supporters respond that everything the US government has done since 9/11, and most of what it was doing before that, is also unconstitutional, but nobody seems to care.

If the Join-Russia Referendum fails to make the national ballot, supporters have a fall-back option: Running Vladimir Putin as a candidate for the Presidency of the United States of America. Blatsky likes Putin’s chances:

“If Putin ran against the six most recent major party candidates for President – Barrack Obama, Mitt Romney, John McCain, John Kerry, Al Gore, and George W. Bush – he would win more votes than all the other candidates combined.”

Supporters of the Russian and would-be American president are already printing millions of bumperstickers reading: “Putin for President: At Least He’s Competent.”

When asked about a possible Putin candidacy, an Obama Administration official argued that the Russian president is ineligible for the US presidency because he is not a natural-born US citizen.

Loretta Fuddy, the state official who is said to have produced a photoshopped document proving that Putin was born in Hawaii, could not be reached for comment.

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Posted by on Mar 11 2014, With 0 Reads, Filed under Editor, Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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31 Comments for “USA Seeks to Join Russian Federation”

  1. Some history of Egypt is important. As noted by researcher and writer Antero Leitzinger

    In May 1971, Anwar Sadat wiped out most of KGB agents [in Egypt]. In July 1972, Soviet advisors were expelled from Egypt.Eight years later, Sadat paid for this with his life, being assassinated by members of an Islamist group. Sadat’s peace policy toward Israel made it easy for the remnants of the KGB
    network to ally with the right-wing Muslim Brotherhood. This is the background of Ayman al-Zawahiri, the second man of al-Qaeda.

  2. America too long carried the evil Russian, to be united, united states bombed the Serbs and destroy Yugoslavia, U.S. submarine sank the Kursk and the U.S. participated in terrorist acts against Russia, including in Volgograd. U.S. and Russian Americans have always hated the Americans can not be trusted, they can substitute and leave you at any moment, they always think only about your own skin, with a country should not go to the union, a country like the United States, only wants to consume resources of Russia.
    In the United States, legalized drugs and gay marriage between lesbians and gay men in the United States a lot of lesbians and gay men in the United States officially exists Church of Satan, and is protected by law, why Russian alliance with Satan’s perverse and deceitful country.
    Russia will become one with the other Slavic peoples and nations but not the United States because the U.S. in just may bring Russia
    U.S. destroyed Syria, Iraq, Libya, Avganistan, Yugoslavia, USA bombed Vietnam, organized terrorist attacks around the world and raped children, this country can not be an ally of the Americans should get rid of perverts Satanists and Masons in their country and ask forgiveness for what was allowed support them, that they were killing people all over the world.

  3. America too long carried the evil Russian , to be united , sha bombed the Serbs and destroy Yugoslavia , USA torpedoed Kursk submarine and the U.S. participated in terrorist acts proiv Russia , including Volgograde.SShA Americans always nnavideli Russian , Americans can not be trusted , they can substitute and leave you any momoent , they always think only about your own skin , Stuckey country not go nasoyuz quencies , a country like the united States, only wants to consume resources of Russia.
    In the United States , legalized same-sex marriage and narkokotiki between lesbians and gay men in the United States very much lesbyanok and homosexuals in the United States officially exists Church of Satan, and is protected by law , why Russian alliance with satanic perverted and deceitful country.
    Russia obedintsya with other Slavic peoples and nations but not the United States because the U.S. in just may bring Russia
    U.S. destroyed Syria, Iraq , Libya, Avganistan , Yugoslavia , USA bombed Vietnam, organized terrorist attacks and therefore the world raped children , this country can not be an ally of the Americans must first get rid of satanstov perverts and Masons in their country and ask forgiveness for what was allowed support them to ubvali people worldwide .

  4. Refined humor! Everything is so funny, Kevin, except gays and children.

  5. Some might say this is satirical. I don’t. This is satirical “Barrack Obama, Mitt Romney, John McCain, John Kerry, Al Gore, and George W. Bush” presented as presidential candidates. And its not funny anymore. Great piece Dr. Barrett!

  6. Preston James, Ph.D

    Bravo Dr. Barrett. This is great humor but is actually based on a core element of truth. It is powerful because it makes us laugh but reminds us of deeper truth.

    Yes, President Putin has attained the international status of a major rock star. He is doing everything right inside Russia to make it strong once again, but this time with the Christian Church backing him 100%. His ability to generate a positive image like George Washington is amazing. He has become a major Russian statesman and has now risen to a role of providing effective leadership. He is cool headed, calculating, very controlled and rational and appears very committed to protecting Russia’s border and border states from Israeli-directed, American-financed covert ops and attempts to start another color revolution to generate complete chaos.

    British Oil, Israeli and SSG cabal leaders greatly fear Russia and their new Brics economic Union (which is now 50-51% of the world’s economy outside of the US Petro Dollar. They want to annex the Ukraine into the EU and bring it under Nato’s power so they can asset strip it, disrupt Russia’s Gazprom supply lines and establish a new oil and gas monopoly through a new British/Israeli controlled new pipeline system through Syria.

    I would be very surprised if they can succeed against such a crafty and powerful major new statesman such as Putin. Perhaps if they try they will meet their Waterloo like Napoleon did.

  7. Если Америка пойдет войной на Россию, то придут Русские и повесят свой флаг над Белым домом, как когда то повесили в поверженной Германии над Рейстагом.

    If America goes to war with Russia, it will come to you and hang your Russian flag over the White House, as when it is hung in a defeated Germany over the Reichstag.

    • The new Russia has Mr Putin to thank for its new found power, its international righteousness and its prosperity. You would be wise not to forget this. Prior to Mr Putin Russia was controlled by the same gangsters, oligarchs and mobsters that now infest and direct the western governments. In Russia they called themselves kommissars. Here they are neocons, aipac, the ‘equalities’ commissions and the NSA.

      I am sure that there are many people in Europe and the US that would be far happier under Mr Putin’s rule – just as the Ukrainians in World War Two even welcomed the Nazis to escape the horror of life under the kommissars.

  8. Ha ha, great article. By the way, I have been hoping that Minnesota, where I live, will be annexed by Canada.

  9. Madeleine Allright

    Dear comrades, you ought to join Russia when it was the USSR. It was really a great country, where everything was for people, now Russia is for reach ones mostly.

  10. Beverage bob I always watch what a thing does to see what it truly is so I think Putin has done far more good than anything treacherous. I believe it was in Jeff Gates book explaining how these oligarchs looted Russia and I saw a figure in past year that Putin has nailed thus far 40% of the criminals and the money they looted from Russia.
    I know that the intel people look at all sides but I have to go by what I see and what much brighter, better informed minds tell me.
    In 40s when Israel was into terrorizing Palestine israel was aligned with Russia and Russia promptly sent 200,000 east europeans (Ashkenazis) to help found the state and serve as terrorists against Palestine. I believe it was only in 60s that Israel turned around and became chummy w USA who has most of the rich Jews-, I mean, Ashkenazis. I can no longer categorize them as Jewish”. Even if they have minute pieces of DNA going back millenia I prefer to see them as a nationality from eastern Europe. They sure did a number on America in 60s with their constant hate propaganda -against US veterans and so many other things.

  11. Hahah Excellent post Kevin. With Putin you know where you stand. “Opponents argue that a join-Russia referendum would be unconstitutional.” Really? Not if he were democratically elected by the People of the United States of America. How outrageously AWESOME!!!!!! would the “Battleship” scene be? Thanks Kevin, you made my day!

  12. Putin for President???? Not sure about that, as bad as Obama is one can write to him and express opinions BUT, I would put Putin in charge of cleaning out the Congressional Barn of all those people unsure of their loyalty. Cannot serve two master with Putin. So, for sure I think he would be helpful pushing Obama toward cleaning out the globe of this new war machine based on terrorist mercenaries. That he could do and he would not open our tax safe for all those ambitious scheme those little aspiring dictators have in mind for global domination.

  13. joe chuy-medina

    I sorta’ liked the way the Sarah and the Hillary started sticking out their tongues. something suggestive about that. “in the pink,” like when the cavemen got to feast on the inner muscle tissue with blood in it rather than the hair, bone, and hide, also toenails and claws.

    I reckon they still do it -stick out the fat tongue, I mean. anything for a vote. what was it Hillary told a group of reporters in Iowa or some state? “you can’t look up my skirt but you can look into my mouth.”

    so, who says these ignorant women are ignorant of human behavior?

  14. Amusing as this article is – the sobering fact remains that were it not for Putin we would all now be MUCH further down the road to hell – and the long planned judaic global dictatorship. They would be brutally crushing all forms of dissent and complaint as if we were all Palestinians.

    Modern Russia and Mr Putin might just be our only hope to get out of the societal quicksand that the actions of millions of (secretly) activist jews have created for the western world. It all starts with noisy chanting and rabid calls for ‘equality’ and ‘equal rights’ – and it ends with the demolition of your way of life, the poisoning of your student and academic institutions, the destruction of your nation, your history and your people. Whilst this is going on the natural and honest leadership of your country is systematically discredited and REPLACED with other jews and their treasonous lackeys.

    The cabal now have this ‘processing’ down to a fine art. Unfortunately for them – when they do this to a nation like Russia in 1917 – or China thereafter – it seems that over time the surviving peoples of those countries revert from the insanity of the ‘communism’ virus to a more healthy form of nationalism and national self interest. This means the cabal oligarchs have to hop like fleas to a new, rich and successful host to start the process again.

    • This is what has happened to the ‘western’ world and we are now currently being ‘cocooned’ as they insert their fangs into our paralyzed institutions and suck out the lifeblood of our nation states.

      This also explains the confusion which now abounds over world ideologies. The west is sinking into a zio-bolshevic state dictatorship whilst under the illusion that it still is ‘free and democratic’. Russia and China are now re-emerging into the prosperity and REAL democratic processes that come with healthy national self interest – whilst they also have statues of mass murdering communists like Lenin and Stalin in their main squares.

      This confusion is a direct product of the eternal and cynical jewish cabal centred conspiracy for global power. The fact is they could not care less whether their false ‘ideologies’ are right wing, left wing, neocon, communist, zionist, bolshevik – so long as it delivers them the absolute global power, racial supremacy and brutal control that it craves and requires as a central tenet of judaism.

  15. Dr. Barrett, there is a lot more about Loretta Fuddy. She was part of an Indonesian cult that also has an American HQ in Seattle. There is a Trevor Loudon video on Youtube that explains that Fuddy in the 60s could easily have run into Obama’s “parents” in Indonesia. Interesting stuff.

    The short Trevor Loudon video, 7 45 min.
    ***www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6AlegQqv0U#t=265***

  16. Howard T.Lewis III

    The television worshipping demographic is the largest unlabelled cult in America. That attached to the herding instinct and a real mess develops. A serious looking pair of sunglasses has become the epitome of the new Darwinian fitness. Unfortunately, to get a mule’s attention you must first pick up a brick.
    Someone should relay Blatsky’s proposal to the Obummer. He would carry through with it if told to or if offered another phony college degree and some candy. Maybe then congress would stop mewling and prancing long enough to impeach the dude.

  17. That’s a good laugh for the day!!!
    Sara Palin looking all the way south west to Vladivostok. Haha.
    And tomorrow Obama has the non democratic elected president of Oekraine for a visit.
    Cooking up another take over in the region?

  18. Kevin… when drunkard Boris Yeltsin took over as president of the Russian Federation, he gave Russia’s wealth and assets to a bunch of young greedy Israeli Zionist who with help from their cousins on Wall Street looted Russia and the Russian people and instantly became multibillionaires. Putin recognized that and had a tough time recouping to the Russian people what was looted. Not so sure if America will ever have a Putin. All American elected officials are “neutered” before taking office.

    • Sami, are You so sure about that looting of Mother Russia is not still in progress? The best crime is, if all the “evidence” just disappeared as smoke into air, as it is the case with Russian oil and gas.

      VT is worried about Ukrainian gold. If it was old Ukraine, they could say, now that You have stolen all of our gold, we’ll send all of our plutonium to You as a bonus.

      Or that VT is worried about ukrainian 1 million man army against mercenary Blackwater, in question to whom those great farmfields really belong. Farmfields gives a crop annualy, but oilfields once used are all gone forever.

  19. Just what we needed a very good laugh. Good some people can still take things with great humour… Well if you have any bumper stickers left over please send them to us here in Denmark. Our Queen Margrete is not in politics, just our living national symbol …… would be god to have someone to run the country who does not agree to everything USA or Merkel says and tells us to do…

  20. Gotta love the guy’s sense of humor, but I’m not so sure a guy with a surname of Blatsky calling for what amounts to a “one world government” is such a great idea. I mean, what if Putin is really working for Israel, like everyone else in power? I think the old thing called “checks and balances” might just be a good idea.

    Anyway, funny stuff…….. if it weren’t so serious.

  21. Very funny, except for the last sentence, “Loretta Fuddy, the state official who is said to have produced a photoshopped document proving that Putin was born in Hawaii, could not be reached for comment.” Loretta Fuddy died just recently, in a small plane crash in December. NINE people were on the plane, and all survived the crash itself. She supposedly died of shock while awaiting rescue, but the others all lived. If you buy that, I have some nice farmland in Florida to sell…

    Loretta Fuddy was in the Hawaii Health dept. during the Obama birth certificate search. So why would anyone wait until now to bump her off? Well, she was 65 and planned to retire. The trip was going to be her last business trip.

    • I guess that’s why she couldn’t be reached.

      • Kevin

        What a heartless person you seem to be;-)! Looks like you even care more for any aardvark’s destiny than for Loretta’s and we all know how little you care for those cuddly critters!

        I wonder why American patriots seem not to fully appreciate that America is THE country of unlimited possibilities and opportunities. In Europe, any person with an IQ as low as Dubya, Palin or Bachmann would definitely only qualify for a disabled pension which goes with very, very limited choice, career wise. But in America, God’s own great and wonderful country, those people can even become President. Isn’t this true socialism? In so called socialist european countries they would just rot in an institution, but in ‘merica, they are respected members of the Elite.

        Now, my American friends, why don’t you elect all of them, as a presidential team? May be, with the combined IQs of the “Magnificient Six”, America could even challenge Russia’s foreign policy.

        Grenada

        P.S. Von Humboldt was more ein Berliner than JFK, not a Russian.

  22. I’ll repeat another commentator on another article. Everyone seems to not be looking under the hood

    “But is Putin working for the globalists?”
    ****http //blog.redefininggod.com/2014/03/09/propaganda-versus-reality-in-the-globalist-takeover-of-ukraine.aspx*****

  23. Brilliant, Kevin! Love the Sarah Palin reference! …”where an ignorant hick like her wouldn’t stand a chance of getting elected dogcatcher.” LOL! Unfortunately, this is way closer to the truth than most can imagine. Keep up the great work!

    • Even if she weren’t an ignorant hick, her fealty to Israel should disqualify her for any elective office.

  24. Hahaha, very good, -)

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