Trump: I will make America Trump again

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By Kevin Barrett, Veterans Today Editor

In his long-awaited speech on domestic policy yesterday, Donald Trump unveiled a new campaign slogan.

“Instead of ‘Make America Great Again,’ I have coined the new slogan ‘Make America Trump Again,’” Trump told a screaming crowd of supporters in Modesto, California.

Trump announced that if elected he will change the name of the United States of America to the United States of Trump. Later in the speech he contradicted himself, saying America’s official new name will be Trump Nation. Two sentences later, he changed the name again, this time to “Trumpy America” : “If the Saud family can be Saudi Arabia, Donald Trump can be Trumpy America. After all, I’m almost as rich and decadent as they are.”

Trump also unveiled the long-awaited details of his plan to rebuild Trumpy America’s infrastructure, announcing that he would re-name every skyscraper Trump Tower. “One Trump Tower just isn’t enough. What if ISIS blew it up? Where would we be then? If they destroyed Trumpy America’s only official phallic symbol, that would be a huge victory for the terrorists.”

Reminded that George Washington also has a towering phallic monument in Washington DC, a visibly annoyed Trump snapped, “George who?”

Trump explained that as part of his infrastructure renewal package, he would build huge walls around all of the newly-renamed Trump Towers to keep illegal immigrants and Muslims out. “We estimate that at least fifty million new jobs would be created in the construction industry building all those walls,” Trump said. “And the best part is, I will make Hillary Clinton pay for constructing those walls. It won’t cost the American people one red cent.”

When asked by a reporter how the people who work in all those Trump Towers could get to their jobs, Trump responded that his friends Sheldon Adelson and Bibi Netanyahu would help make sure the walls were pierced with checkpoints.

Trump added that if elected he planned to junk Air Force One and make Jeffrey Epstein’s “Lolita Express” Lear Jet the new official Presidential Airliner. “And if Bill Clinton endorses me, I’ll let him fly on it as much as he wants,” Trump added, in a move calculated to annoy his likely Democratic opponent.

Hillary Clinton’s response: “I simply cannot believe that the American people are going to elect an egomaniacal narcissistic psychopath as their president…er, at least, not that one.”

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Posted by on May 23, 2016, With 1318 Reads Filed under Humor, Of Interest. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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6 Responses to "Trump: I will make America Trump again"

  1. jones  May 31, 2016 at 4:25 pm

    This piece is masterful in its allusion to the illusion of substance that Trump’s pontifications and half sentences are indeed the Pied Piper leading we merry dancing children into his glitzy rendition of permanent war. Wake up, America!

  2. JHolland  May 25, 2016 at 10:46 am

    Dear Dr. Barrett,

    Thank you for the reply to my post. Much appreciated. Modesto still has a strong blue collar population base and often votes Democrat. Having said that, I suspect the area will embrace Trump in preference to a Democrat come November.

    To answer JS’s point, I agree it is worth considering the Satanic issue. In the time I worked in the Central Valley, I came to the conclusion that Satanists formed a powerful segment of the body politic and their influence would surface directly in the stances on issues taken by members of the mainstream political parties.

  3. JHolland  May 23, 2016 at 1:29 pm

    Actually no.

    Its seems very unlikely to me (speaking as a reasonably long-term resident of the California Central Valley) that either Dr. Barrett or captain obvious have been to Modesto lately (if at all).

    Modesto is not the land of garlic – Garlic City USA is Gilroy, which is at least a 90 minute drive from Modesto. The best known corporation operating out of Modesto is the Gallo Brothers winery.

    Given a choice, Modesto is a reasonable place to live and I would take it ahead of Minnesota.

    • Kevin Barrett  May 23, 2016 at 3:59 pm

      I wasn’t dissing Modesto. Just picked it for the ironic insinuation that Trump is not exactly “muy modesto.”

    • JS  May 23, 2016 at 7:48 pm

      Modesto has satanic connections too. See Modesto Bee article, Sept 14, 2003, Is cult linked to Peterson killings? The murder of the very pregnant Laci Peterson on Christmas 2002, the removal and then ritual murder of her unborn son Conner. Both bodies were found April 13 the following year. The baby was found with tape around his neck and with a slash on his body (which is very like the earlier murder of JonBenet Ramsey on Christmas of 1996, in Colorado). Before that, in 1990, a cult in the Modesto area had murdered 4 people in Salida. Note the dates: Christmas, the 13th.

  4. captain obvious  May 23, 2016 at 12:25 pm

    Modesto the land of garlic, but this smells a lot like onion.

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