Happy Texas-Israel Day!

Listen up, all you kosher cowboys! Did y’all know that today is Texas-Israel Day?

Time to saddle up and ride on down to the picnic and grab yourself a mouthful of barbecued motzoh balls! (Round these parts, we call ’em Megido Mountain Oysters – just be sure and talk real nice to the motzoh while you’re cuttin’ em off.) Wash ’em down with a splash of Lone Star of David beer – just pour some Mogen-David 20-20 into your can of Lone Star and you’re off to the rodeo!  And don’t forget to crank up a Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys CD – they’re great for dancin’ the Hava Nagila while you wave your cowboy hat around like Slim Pickens ridin’ one of them there Samson Option missiles.

Yes indeedy, ladies and gentiles, every year on this here solemn occasion we commemorate Texas-Israel Day in honor of trying to remember…whatzit called…the Alamamo, or the Mossada, or wherever it was where all those kosher cowboys got shot down by a big ol’ army of philistinian mexican injuns.

So in honor of all things Texas-Israeli, I just wrote this here song celebratin’ the merger of the Great State of Texas with the Outlaw State of Israel.


Slavish Texas Reps to Enact Absurd Annual “Texas-Israel Day” May 8th  

By Martin Hill

Despite constantly promoting a ‘fiercely independent’ public relations image, submissive Texas legislators will declare May 8th “Texas-Israel Day” in the State Capitol. Like theircompromised counterparts in the U.S. Congress, the subservient Reps will pronounce the official resolution next week. State Senator John Carona and Rep. Stefani Carter have taken up the cause and will read the declaration.

Like so many U.S. politicians and Presidents, Texas lawmakers have taken “legislative trips to Israel” for years. On March 21 2013, they passed H.R. 44, “Commending Israel for its cordial and mutually beneficial relationship with the United States and the State of Texas and supporting Israel in its legal, historical, moral, and God-given right of self-governance and self-defense.”

A group called the “Texas-Israel Chamber of Commerce” has posted an announcement on its website about the “Texas-Israel Day” event:

“On May 8th State Sen. John Carona and State Rep. Stefani Carter have each agreed to sponsor resolutions in the Texas House and Senate respectively that will proclaim May 8 to be Texas-Israel Day. Please plan to join us in Austin at the Capitol that day, as the Texas-Israel Chamber group will be recognized in each legislative chamber. A room is reserved at the Capitol convenient to both chambers where the meetings will be held with key legislators and hear speakers throughout the day. This is a great opportunity for us to highlight the many opportunities Texas and Israel have to work together. Our greatest opportunity right now is in Water Management. The state realizes that we have a big problem and Israel has invented the solution. Gov. Perry has decided to take $2 billion from the Rainy Day fund and spend it on upgrading water infrastructure in the state. The day will primarily focus on educating our legislators about Israeli water technology before this legislative session ends. CEO Clare Freeman is working with the Governor’s office and the Water Management Board to plan the day for maximum impact.”

Another page on their site, TEXAS-ISRAEL DAY AT THE CAPITOL MAY 8, notes:

“We plan to use this day as an opportunity to educate legislators and key stakeholders about the very close relationship between Texas and Israel. We will highlight Israeli water conservation and desalination technologies that can dramatically help the citizens of Texas solve the very serious water shortage problems we face in the immediate future. This day is a huge opportunity for Texas-Israel Chamber members to meet face to face with our legislators and educate them on the many ways Texas and Israel are so closely connected… I hope you will join us and contribute to our effort. The more people we have in Austin supporting Texas and Israel, the bigger an impression we can make on state lawmakers.”

Reaction to the announcement of “Texas-Israel Day” was largely negative among Texans. North Texas resident Mike Devasher was perplexed. “I can’t figure out for the life of me what Israel has to do with Texas or Texas history. This makes as much sense as declaring a ‘Texas-Rhodesia Day’. I object to Texas being tied to that filthy terrorist nationette who threatens the world with their undeclared nuclear program that, to date, has Israel in possession of over 300 nuclear- warheads and has never been properly investigated by the IAEA or held accountable by any other nuclear watch-dog agency. It appears that jewish House speaker Joe Strauss has finally inserted the Zionist influence that every Texan has feared he would do once he became Speaker.”

Russell Shipp, who supported Ron Paul for president, said “What the hell?! An Annual Texas Israel day? Unless Israel is ready to recognize Texas as its own nation (and given their view on Palestine, I doubt that’s the case) I see no point to this and I also see some Constitutional restrictions – given the fact that states can not engage in international diplomacy, and this is nothing but. How dare they waste our money and the people’s time on something so frivolous and ultimately unconstitutional. A TX Israel day?… I had no idea.”

Despite the cartoonish “Don’t Mess With Texas” slogan which the state plasters all over billboards, the so-called political leadership in Texas is actually very sycophantic towards the Israeli lobby and tyrannical towards it’s own people. It’s armed revenue agents regularly engage in all sorts of barbaric intrusions, conducting obscene cavity searches of innocent women on the roadside, arresting veterans for legally carrying their firearms, waking up off-duty truck drivers in violation of federal law, shooting innocent family pets for no reason, killing innocent people in botched drug raids, stealing children from their parents and then and abusing them, etc. The so-called Texas Dept. of Children Services is particularly notorious for hiring perverts, who then abuse innocent children. Meanwhile the lawmakers, who supposedly represent the people of Texas, obsess on a warmongering foreign nation which should have nothing whatsoever to do with the Lone Star State.

The two Texas state lawmakers who are spearheading the proclamation of the “Texas-Israel Day” Resolution can be reached here: Stefani Carter can be reached in Austin, TX at (512)463-0454 Fax: (512)463-1121 or Richardson, (972)661-9649 , (972)661-9679 and Fax (972)661-1338. Her e-mail is [email protected] On her newsletter, Carter says “As always, I am honored to be your voice in Austin.” John Carona can be reached by e-mail here or by phone in Austin: (512)463-0116 Fax: (512)463-3135 or Dallas: (214)378-5751 Fax: (214)378-5739

No word on whether the TX Reps will proclaim a U.S.S. Liberty Day, Lavon Affair Day, Jonathan Pollard Day, Salvador Smecke Day, or a ‘Dancing Israelis Day’ to follow up on next Wednesday’s Texas-Israel celebration.

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10 Responses to "Happy Texas-Israel Day!"

  1. sc_32d2aaa60ca2adcf9e54d3b14c840d34  May 8, 2013 at 11:46 pm

    Pathetic, truly pathetic that the government of a state so proudly and fiercely independent of the federal government and supposedly a place where they bow to no man or rules that do not fit the Texan way of living can suddenly and so completely drop their trousers, bend over and receive the Israeli rogering they surely have been dealt. Are they so detached from reality that they think this sort of thing is ok and that the people support it? I can bet you any amount, look at the bank balances of all the drones who voted for this, look at the sudden appearance of money into the state accounts to smooth this along and assist with its implementation. Jewish Zionist terrorists are running the show now, unless Texas decides to cowboy the hell up and send this bullshit down the s bend where it belongs. Yippee ki yay mother-fkr.

  2. DaveE  May 8, 2013 at 5:01 pm

    Pretty amazing songwritin’ there, KB…… I’m impressed……!

  3. Gary Walker  May 8, 2013 at 2:59 pm

    It is time to give Texas back to Mexico for $24 worth of trinkets and beads. They must take the Dubya in the deal.


    • The All Seeing Bee  May 9, 2013 at 8:45 pm

      They would probably accept, Dubya would be a great addition to Sabado Gigante. But once they realized they were getting Hagee and his Cornerstone Synegogue the deal would be done.

  4. Kevin Barrett  May 8, 2013 at 2:58 pm

    Rumor has it that Texas-Israelis killed CIA officer Roland Carnaby a few years back: http://rockcreekfreepress.tumblr.com/post/35327202/cia-agent-gunned-down-by-houston-police

  5. Yukon Jack  May 8, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    So is Alex Jones and his buddy Jason Bermas goin’ to leading the festivities in Austin later?

  6. Brian  May 8, 2013 at 12:32 pm

    I suppose the Texas legislators didn’t receive the following information:

    “Israeli spies have done more harm and have damaged the United States more than the intelligence agents of all other countries on earth combined… They are the gravest threat to our national security.”

    Admiral Bobby Inman
    Former Deputy Director of the CIA

    Perhaps the Texas legislators are extremely proud of Johnathan Pollard, excerpt from an article:

    According to FBI and CIA sources, the most grievous spy crime in the history of the U.S.A was perpetrated by a Galveston, Texas-born Jew, Jonathan Pollard.

    By the way, perhaps the Texas legislators are planning to celebrate the great Israeli victory over the United
    States, you know when they destroyed the Twin Towers and attacked the Pentagon on 911.

    • Charlotte NC Bill  May 8, 2013 at 1:08 pm

      Disgusting…I used to live in Houston…The weather is so bad there it may very well be driving them out of their collective minds…Humidity, cockroaches galore…don’t miss your quarterly spraying in Houston…Toxic fumes fm refineries…and now Texas-Talmudia Day…Great..Secede already…we won’t miss you.

    • Brian  May 8, 2013 at 1:48 pm

      Houston has plenty of Mossad agents roaming around committing crimes. It’s been reported the Mossad has infiltrated the Houston police department. The Mossad likes to smuggle things out of the Port of Houston including nuclear materials.

      Some of the desert areas of Texas supposedly look like portions of Israel, If Texas Secedes it won’t be too long before Yom Kippur is a national holiday. I’m concerned the Israeli settlers may confuse the Mexicans for Palestinians. Yikes!

    • mevashir  May 8, 2013 at 11:06 pm

      Let’s just call the two lands U$rAel. One nation under goldman sachs execrable with liberty and justice for some.

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