My Living Will – Update



Since I’m approaching 82 and partially disabled with a military service related condition, it’s time to update my Living Will along with a promise ~ inspired of course by the irrepressible Paul Rudnick of the New Yorker: Allen L Roland, Ph.D


“Me and Merle were talking, ain’t many of us left ~ We were chuckling about that. Where’d everybody go? The fact he and I are still here is probably a miracle in itself”Willie Nelson (age 82) speaking of his friend Merle Haggard

 Those of you who have not read the New Yorker’s Paul Rudnick’s My Living Will written on April 25th, 2005 should check it out for it’s the hilarious inspiration for My Living Will.  


  1. If I should remain in a persistent vegetative state for more than 30 days, I would like someone to pay my rent.
  2. If I do not respond to pinches, pinpricks, rubber mallets, electric shock or other medical stimuli, please don’t take it personally.
  3. If my death is particularly dramatic and worthy of a movie ~  I would like to be played by Harrison Ford.
  4. If my doctor pronounces me brain-dead, I would like to see the latest Adam Sandler movie.
  5. If there is a family dispute over my medical condition, it must be settled with a boxing match.
  6. I do not wish to be kept alive by any machine that has a 5,10 or 20 dollar change setting.
  7. In lieu of flowers or donations, I would prefer a fireworks show.
  8. Assume that, even in a coma, I can still hear discussions about my life, my loves and my struggles.
  9. If I remain motionless for an extended period and utter only guttural, meaningless sounds, I would like it set to music and submitted for an Emmy.
  10. At my memorial service, I would like my clergyman to begin his eulogy with the words “I suppose, in a way, we all misunderstood Allen.”

 It’s very healthy to laugh at death particularly because it’s inevitable and it’s really just another chapter here on earth which may or may not have a sequel ~ dependent on whether we denied or surrendered to love ~ which leads me to my final comment as well as sincere promise;

Dr. Eben Alexander, in his bestselling book Proof of Heaven writes about his near death experience and says the same thing about what lies beyond death ~ in essence, it’s all about love;

Proof of Heaven,  p. 71 ~ “If I had to boil this entire message down to one sentence, it would run this way: “You are loved.”  And if I had to boil it down further, to just one word, it would (of course) be simply: Love. Love is without doubt, the basis of everything.  Not some abstract, hard-to-fathom kind of love, but the day-to-day kind that everyone knows – the kind of love we feel when we look at our spouse and our children, or even our animals.  In its purest and most powerful form, this love is not jealous or selfish, but unconditional.  This is the reality of realities, the incomprehensibly glorious truth of truths that lives and breathes at the core of everything that exists or that ever will exist, and no remotely accurate understanding of who and what we are can be achieved by anyone who does not know it, and embody it in all of their actions.  Not much of a scientific insight?  Well, I beg to differI’m back from that place, and nothing could convince me that this is not only the single most important scientific truth as well.”  See 7 minute video

What Eben is suggesting is the very real possibility of consciousness existing beyond the physical realm and being able to influence the physical realm that does not necessarily contradict the known laws of physics ~ since quantum mechanics, if not proving this idea, at least makes it theoretically possible.

  1. Since I am a firm believer and have demonstrated in my heart centered work and personal life that the Near and after Death experience is, in reality, a state of love and soul consciousness (the Unified Field) that exists not only beyond time and space but also beneath our deepest fears and a state of ego consciousness ~ I promise that I will personally appear to and thank each person who has touched my heart during my brief time on Earth after I pass on ~ including brother and sisters as well as all former loves and close friends.

Both my mother ( see post   ) who died and 1958 and my twin brother ( See post ) who died in 2014, have appeared to me in a joyful after death experience ~ so I look forward, with great delight, to reminding these people still alive of how close they were to my heart here on planet Earth. Most of them already know this but this will be a special reminder that my love is actually a state of love and soul consciousness that exists beyond time and space.

It will be also be my reminder to them that God is love and manifests itself not only as a loving plan in action but also as an evolutionary process with which we all participate as co-creators ~ if we have the courage to say YES to ourselves and our dreams and not be controlled by fear.

Life to me is and has always been a great adventure ~ the Poet and teacher Patrice Vecchione reflects on what it’s like to be alive in this great adventure where chaos and seeming confusion often lead to clarity;

“To be alive is not primarily a linear experience. It’s a mix of dreaming and running to the store for a quart of milk. Our lives have depth, in part, because we can’t make sense of everything. Life doesn’t make sense; it’s more complicated than our linear way of knowing. Mystery and spirit run through our days like rivers and sustain us. Life is a blend of possibility and impossibility… From chaos comes clarity. It was there all along. You just couldn’t see it. To come to clarity, you have to enter the chaos. Dive in or enter inch by inch. Confusion is not a bad thing.”

“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.”  ~ J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone



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Author Details
{p}Allen L Roland, PhD is a Freelance Alternative Press Online columnist. He is also a heart centered spiritual consultant, author and lecturer who also shares a weekly political and social commentary on his web site at He also guest hosts Truthtalk, a national radio show that airs monthly. He is available for comments, interviews, speaking engagements as well as private consultations via email at [email protected].{/p} {p}Roland is a twin who was born in Boston, Massachusetts, survived a dysfunctional family, pursued and lived his dreams, including becoming a Navy supersonic carrier pilot, finding himself by fully opening his heart, writing three books, siring four children ~ and is still living his ultimate dream by making a difference from a place of love, celebration and service. {/p} His Ph.D dissertation THE UNIFIED FIELD was chosen by Common Boundary and Noetic Science Institute, in their 1998 national dissertation contest, as one of the top three finalists for combining spirituality and psychology. His ongoing heart centered work as a consultant with veterans with PTSD, is the most satisfying work of his life. Allen's online newsletter, columns and radio broadcasts are committed to the truth ~ as he sees it ~ for only the truth is revolutionary.


  1. Dr Roland, wonderful article! I have not read Dr Eben Alexander’s book yet, but I own Dr Mary Neal’s remarkable book about her NDE.

    I want to leave you with an absolutely incredible development, and I would be thrilled if you would write about it. It’s the story of a psychologist here in the US who has solved the problem of chronic homelessness, and about how cities and states are saving money too, by using his revolutionary program. Details are here in a May 6 article in the Washington Post, “Meet the outsider who accidentally solved chronic homelessness”. My only beef with the article is that the solution was no accident.

    • JS ~ you may have something here ~ the federal government tested the model on 734 homeless across 11 cities, finding the model dramatically reduced levels of addiction as well as shrank health related costs by half. “Adults who have experienced chronic homelessness may be successfully housed and can maintain their housing,” the report declared.

    • Yes, “homes first” + counselling, will chop addiction rates too. This has obvious implications for veterans. I like that both progressives and fiscal hawks can sign onto this.

  2. Allen if that is a recent photo of you then I must say you are doing important work for those you work with. these musings resonated well . when my adorable mother passed in my in my arms everyone seemed surprised how I instantly knew she left. I said it was because she told me she was leaving now and I love you.

  3. Dr. Roland,… These possible Will amendments gave me the best chuckle of the week. Thank you so much for the grounding of your eldership. For some reason this quote came to mind. May Creation and the great mystery continue.
    “To live, we must daily break the body and spill the blood of Creation.
    When we do this knowingly, lovingly, skillfully, reverently,
    it is a sacrament. When we do it ignorantly, greedily, clumsily, destructively, it is a desecration.”

    — Wendell Berry—

    • Jayadeva ~ Here’s my favorite Wendel Berry quote ~ “Whether we and our politicians know it or not, Nature is party to all our deals and decisions, and she has more votes, a longer memory, and a sterner sense of justice than we do.” ~ Wendell Berry

  4. At the cross and its applications is where unconditional love flows, when it is infused in your very fabric of your being, there beyond, love is applicable in every aspect of my life, freely given beyond comprehension. Joy unspeakable, living waters flowing from within.

  5. This was a joy to write and share ~ but my promise was sincere and I wanted to share that while I was still actively living my dreams and aspirations 😉

  6. Dr. Roland,
     1st Thank you, for your Service to USA, for all you have done & do to help our Vets & your VT’s Articles
     2nd you have a long way to go, because recently my friend’s Grandmother passed away at 102.
     3rd it is so funny, I may use it as My Living Will, too.

  7. Dr. Roland, I will always be grateful for your enduring & loving presence here on VT! Your shining example of unconditional love speaks volumes to those of us seeking Light in the midst of the oftentimes dark turmoils
    on Earth. The grace of perseverance despite obstacles is also a message of hope that you truly embody.

    As a student nurse many years ago, I sat with patients on their journey to the hereafter. They taught me the courage to face death in a way that serves me to this day. In turn, it inspired me to live more fully, without the false restrictions & prejudices of modern society. Love is my vital force, more so than oxygen which, of course, is a necessity. Love has taught me the art of letting go, of absolute, not have-hearted, forgiveness, & to start each day with openness to synchronicity…

    I love your “revised living will”! The “living” is eternal with form melding into formlessness. Bless your kind heart. It is your lasting legacy.

    Much love right back to you, Jeanne

  8. Outstanding Dr. Roland!

    I love your living will which is; despite the obvious humor, apparently larger than surface presentation.

    The desire to establish; for those living on Earth with a third density perspective; a sense of soul and spirit immortality is to vanquish the greatest enemy of all —- fear.

    If one understands that all is illusion, one understands that one makes their own reality in life (generally recognized as 3’rd density awareness) as in death (density awareness based on ability to perceive dimensions in realms of infinity). Either way, it is best to contemplate the present without fear.

    Many thanks for this article and your greater perspective on continuity of life form.

    • Lyra ~ The continuity of life is reflected in the words of Longfellow regarding the timelessness of love ~
      ” the thread of all sustaining beauty that runs through all and doth all unite.”

    • Thanks for replying to my comment Dr. Roland.

      Yes. I agree that it is the choice between holding love of virtues over vices within one’s whole self – mind (consciousness), heart (soul), and spirit (energy); that is the true key to continuity of life within the infinite universal realm of the source creator. It is a free will individual choice and one that you have obviously made wisely living in the now.

      Intuitively, I feel that your work on Earth isn’t done sir as “Birds of a feather, flock together”.
      All contributions to well-being in love given and accepted by the totality of the universe.

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