John Bradshaw, a pioneer in the self-healing movement and author of Reclaiming and Healing your Inner child was an important and underrated compass in the field of humanistic psychology. Bradshaw correctly maintained that our ultimate home coming was reclaiming a lost and alone child within ourselves and set the stage for my work in reclaiming the soul of that lost child by jump starting their hearts through gratefulness and forgiveness: Allen L Roland, PhD
“Being abandoned through the neglect of our developmental dependency needs is the major factor in becoming an adult child. We grow up; we look like adults. We walk and talk like adults, but beneath the surface is a little child who feels empty and needy, a child whose needs are insatiable because he has a child’s needs in an adult body. This insatiable child is the core of all compulsive/addictive behavior.” ~ John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You
Only William Grimes, New York Times, chose to publicly mark the Death of Self-Help Evangelist John Bradshaw on May 12, 2016 ~~
“John Bradshaw, whose ideas about family dysfunction and the damaged “inner child” concealed within most adults made him one of the most popular and influential self-help evangelists of the 1990s, died on Sunday in Houston. He was 82.
The cause was heart failure, his son, John Jr., said.
Mr. Bradshaw drew on his unhappy childhood as the son of an alcoholic father, his own drinking problems and his work as a counselor to develop a set of explanations for myriad psychological ills.
In his television shows on PBS and in books like “Bradshaw On: The Family” (1986) and “Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child” (1990), he argued that millions of adults fail to achieve healthy relationships because they have never come to terms with the shame, self-blame and “toxic guilt” caused by parental abuse, physical or emotional.
Until they learned to seek out and heal the hurt child within, he said, most adults stumbled through life, expressing their pain through self-destructive behavior and entering into unhappy love relationships with similarly damaged partners, each hoping to find in the other a loving, approving parent.” See Grimes Article ~
In lectures attended by up to 7,000 people in the 1990’s, and in smaller workshops (some of which I attended) he led audiences through “grief work” exercises intended to make them travel back in time and face themselves as they once were as children ~ small, frightened and alone and most certainly confirmed by Bradshaw’s own life experience ~ “When I walked out of the seminary, I was 31, but I was like a scared, frightened kid,” he told People magazine in 1990. “I had no place to live, no license, no clothes. I was just a lost soul.”
I am indebted to John Bradshaw for using his own tortured childhood experiences to find and identify the Well of Grief that many of us experienced in our own dysfunctional families ~ but I courageously surrendered to and went beneath that well of grief and found a spring of joy~ a Unified Field of love, joy and soul consciousness that lay not only beyond time and space but also beneath our deepest fears.
Bradshaw definitely sensed what lay beneath his personal pain but could never quite surrender to or trust the joy of soul consciousness ~ but knew unconditional love was the path toward finding it.
John sensed this same great truth that I know and own but his work most definitely inspired me to not only find and share the truth of this Unified field of love and joy that lay beneath our deepest pain but also to write about it and demonstrate it in my heart centered counseling / consulting work with both Combat veterans as well as civilians with PTHD ~ Post Traumatic Heart Disorder.
Dr Stanley Krippner explains my work in the foreword of my book “No psychiatric manual lists “soul loss” as a condition in need of treatment but shamans tell me that “soul loss” is widespread in contemporary society ~ Allen Roland has had the insight to understand what the shamans have told me and he also has developed the skills to help his clients regain their souls.”
To elaborate on Dr Krippner’ s words, I have developed the skills to help my clients regain their souls over the past 45 years by being their coach and not their therapist ~ by jump starting their hearts through an action based self-healing process which stresses love, gratefulness and forgiveness and then coaching them through their deepest fears to the love, joy and a state of soul consciousness deepest intention within them which I have identified as the Unified Field. As such, they begin to see through different eyes .
They all have access to these self-healing steps in my updated Kindle Book RADICAL THERAPY, SURRENDER TO LOVE AND HEAL YOURSELF IN SEVEN SESSIONS (not seven years). Here is the Kindle link
And here’s a link to the YouTube Skype sessions of the self-healing process I teach and coach ~ Watch, in the first 20 minutes of session five, how Marina conquers her deepest fear (her well of grief) by going through it and then demonstrate that beneath her pain and fear is boundless joy. See video
The gift I give my clients, particularly combat veterans, is the gift of the honest, free and joyous gift of myself as well as a clear demonstration of what it’s like to be in the field and not be controlled by fear. Reading the first nine chapters of my book is a prerequisite before our first session (either Skype or in person) where I literally take them by the hand and tell them that “It’s Your Turn!”
It is here, at the point of heart based action, that the soul connection is established. Through their life chart ~ they connect the dots of all their important love relationships ~ and then the inner soul light goes on because their homework is to thank these people and tell them why they are or have been a gift in their life. This action based gratitude homework leads them through their fears and to the life changing realization that they were loved and are now actually loving and healing themselves.
They slowly begin to see through different eyes ~ eyes unclouded by fear and pain and a light at the end of their tunnel of despair.
And I, as their coach versus therapist, empower them to give that scared and alone child a voice and become their friend forever for I have also touched their hearts with my empowering work and unconditional love ~ much as Bradshaw did with his ground breaking work and books in the 1990’s.
All the sessions and exercises are geared toward my clients regaining their souls ~ for the vast majority of my clients have had significant birth trauma or early childhood trauma ~ whereas psychic pain has overridden their inherent joy as well as a state of soul consciousness. From that Well of Grief they created an ego as well as a protective cocoon of ego consciousness ~ for it was seemingly their only choice for survival.
Unfortunately, most of us go through our lives recreating our original pain and aloneness in our relationships ~ not realizing that beneath that well of grief is our original joy, intention and purpose as well as our innate connection to the Unified Field and a state of love and soul consciousness.
It is within that cocoon of ego consciousness that the innocent and fearful child emotionally resides waiting to be seen and touched through unconditional love and then empowered to say yes to themselves and no longer be controlled by fear.
This risk taking homework of gratitude inspires people to take action and encounter their deepest fears, confront and go beneath their pain and finally surrender to the love and joy deepest within themselves ~ as well as reunite with a Unified Field of love and soul consciousness that exists not beyond time and space and also beneath their deepest fears. The key to the kingdom of the soul is gratitude for God (a loving plan in action) only reveals itself to a grateful heart.
At four years old, while living with my grandfather, I knew ~ for a few moments ~ that I was a beloved and essential part of a loving universe ~ I was in the Unified Field of love and soul consciousness.
Two years later, while still living in New England, I was suddenly taken away from my grandfather, my heart closed and I checked out. In essence, I stopped emotionally growing and for the next 30 years that transcendent moment of soul consciousness remained buried beneath a well of grief, a mantle of psychic pain, aloneness and despair ~ it hurt too deeply to feel anything deeply. But in the midst of that initial pain, I had a vision of the Golden Gate bridge, water and houses ~ a moment in time precognitive vision that I would eventually walk into 40 years later and once again see through his eyes. See post on walking into that precognitive vision
Similar to John Bradshaw, my whole lifetime narrative became an unconscious Quest to find that little boy and empower him to feel and love that deeply again as well as own and share his joyful truth with the world.
In essence, the psychic pain of being seemingly separated from love is so great that emotionally we stop growing and our lives become a quest to recreate that pain in a subconscious attempt to go beneath that pain and reunite with our original state of wholeness and joy.
As such, all of our love relationships are steps on this quest until we finally embrace the grand prize ~ our authentic self and our part in a universal loving plan ~ the Unified Field .
Thus, my whole life has been a journey to surrender to love, fully open my heart and eventually see through that child’s innocent and knowing eyes again ~ and courageously share what I see as I am doing now with you.
See my VT Article on owning the great truth of a Unified Field of love ~
“The great philosophical triumph of any Unified Field theory is implicit in the first word of its title. For it will carry to logical fulfillment the long course of science towards the unification of man’s concepts of the physical world.
For from its august perspective, the entire universe would appear as one elemental field in which each atom, each flying electron, each star, each wandering comet and slow-wheeling galaxy is seen to be but a ripple or tumescence in the underlying space-time unity.”
And so a profound simplicity would supplant the surface complexity of nature. Thus all man’s perceptions of the world and all his abstract intuitions of reality would merge finally into one, and the deep underlying unity of the universe would be laid bare”
Teilhard de Chardin implied the reality of such a Unified Field when he posited the existence of a universal soul that united and joined the universe and all humanity through love .
In his last unpublished work, Le Christique (The Promised Land) ~ Teilhard wrote of the inevitable consequences that will arise when this truth appears:
“Sooner or later there will be a chain reaction .. for the truth has to appear only once, in one single mind, for it to be impossible for anything ever to prevent it from spreading universally and setting everything ablaze”
And the fiery truth is that the original joy within us is God ~ for God is love. Love itself is the ultimate life force, love alone lies as the foundation of a vast evolutionary process.
“Love alone is capable of uniting living beings in such a way as to complete and fulfill them for it alone takes them and joins them by what is deepest within themselves” Teilhard de Chardin
Each of us participates in this joyous evolution as co-creators who are willing to go out and set everything ablaze by opening our hearts, claiming our gifts and playing our unique part in a universal loving plan.
Jesus, Buddha and all the great spiritual figures were in this sense divinely human. They were all evolutionary forerunners of a state of love and soul consciousness that we can and must attain in order to evolve ~ they were all in a Unified Field that transcends time and space.
John Bradshaw led us, through his internal work, to the psychic pain of the well of grief that separates us from this great internal truth of soul consciousness ~ and I in turn have fully surrendered to that well of grief from a place of accountability and gratefulness and discovered that beneath it is a deeper truth ~ a Unified Field of love, joy, intention and purpose which still governs my life of heart based service.
The deep underlying unity of the universe is a psychic energy field of love and soul consciousness the Unified Field ~ which exists not only beyond time and space but also beneath our deepest fears and we resist its universal pull and urge to unite at our collective peril.
I am very aware that there is a gentle pull from deepest within ourselves calling us into universal service from a place of love, joy and soul consciousness and listening to and responding to that call has led me to my greatest joy and sense of universal belonging.
“The thread of all sustaining beauty that runs through all and doth all unite” ~ Longfellow
And this is the truth that shall set everything ablaze!
Allen L Roland, PhD
Heart centered spiritual consultant and advisor Allen L Roland can be contacted at [email protected] Allen is also a lecturer and writer who shares a weekly political and social commentary on his web log and website allenroland.com. He is also featured columnist on Veterans Today and is a featured guest on many radio and Television programs.