On Wednesday, January 18th, 1934 at 830 AM, I arrived on this planet accompanied by my late beloved twin, Bobby. Unloved and unwanted by my mother but treasured by my Grandfather, I surrendered during the birth process, was born and slowly began my struggle and quest to sort out why I was here on this strange planet. Sensing it had something to do with surrendering to, understanding and sharing an all-encompassing love and joy that existed beyond time and space but also deepest within myself, I fully experienced it at 4 years old as well as experienced a glimpse of my original intention and purpose ~ and now I’m completing it: Allen L Roland, PhD
Let me have my mentor from beyond time and space , Teilhard de Chardin, explain what I mean by seeing ~ for what I really mean is seeing through the Heart:
“Seeing ~ One could say that the whole of life lies in seeing ~ if not ultimately, at least essentially. To be more is to be more united ~ and this sums up and is the very conclusion of the work to follow. But unity grows, and we will affirm this again, only if it is supported by an increase of consciousness, of vision. That is probably why the history of the living world can be reduced to the elaboration of ever more perfect eyes at the heart of a cosmos where it is always possible to discern more.” Teilhard de Chardin, Priest and Paleontologist /1881-1955
“There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in” Graham Greene
In retrospect, my whole life has been a journey, a quest, to find an emotionally lost little boy within myself who once knew and saw that he was part of something far greater than himself, and longed to share the truths that I am now sharing with you ~ my first early childhood experience at four years old, happened while living with my beloved grandfather in Newtonville, Massachusetts with my mother and brothers.
It was where I profoundly experienced that deepest within myself was a love and uplifting joy that indelibly connected me to everything around me as well as all of nature ~ it was my first conscious awareness of a Unified Field of love and soul consciousness that existed beyond time and space.
One day while playing alone in my room I heard my favorite song on the radio ~ it was Gene Autrey’s “I’m Back in the Saddle Again“. My inner joy was too great to contain and I felt an incredible urge to share it ~ so I turned the radio up full volume, stood on my tiptoes, opened the window and leaned out into that gorgeous New England summer day.
Immediately, an overwhelming sense of delight seemed to lift me out of myself ~ an utterly amazing feeling of knowing and awareness rose from deep within me, a feeling of incredible joy and oneness with all things around me ~ and I totally surrendered to it.
For a few ecstatic moments, I sensed, I knew, that I was not alone. This awesome joy lifted me out of myself and was somehow connected to all and everything I saw ~ and I was part of it!
At four years old, I knew ~ for a few moments ~ that I was a beloved and essential part of a loving universe ~ That deepest within me was a state of love and soul consciousness ~ I knew ~ for a few moments ~ I was in a state of love and soul consciousness that existed beyond time and space and I was part of it.
That was Graham Greene’s moment in my childhood when the door opened and let the future in and deep inside me I subconsciously knew my life’s quest would be to find this Holy Grail, experience it and share this truth with the world.
Two years later, when I was suddenly taken away from my grandfather, my heart closed and I checked out. Emotionally, I stopped growing and for the next 30 years that transcendent moment of soul consciousness remained buried beneath a well of grief, a mantle of psychic pain, aloneness and despair ~ it hurt too deeply to feel anything deeply.
But in the midst of that initial pain, I had a vision of the Golden Gate bridge, water and houses ~ a moment in time precognitive vision that I would eventually walk into 30 years later. It was almost as if that child within me said ” Be patient, Allen ~ you are destined to see through my eyes again and you will know when that moment happens”.
In 1979, I had written the first draft of my Unified Field Theory, but I had not yet proven to myself that love ~ and not light ~ was the one constant of the universe.
I knew Einstein was correct in terms of what science could see through its limited consciousness ~ but wrong in terms of what can be perceived and experienced from the standpoint of the soul, or the within of things.
It was obvious to me that extra-sensory or paranormal events illustrated a different relation to time and space.
For example, in scientific terms, precognition (the perception of a future event before it occurs) is considered possible ~ but it would mean that signals or information of some kind could travel backward in time, which according to special relativity, would be particles going faster than light.
But with the acceptance of the existence of a Unified Field of Love ~ a psychic energy field within which time and space do not exist ~ the effect would be the same but the cause would be due to forces beyond the physical realm.
As such, precognition would fit comfortably into the established physics and would also explain why it is experienced mainly between people who have deep loving connections such as lovers, mates and mothers and their children.
So in 1979, I had found the Holy Grail and knew that this Unified Field of love was the one constant of the universe, but I had no direct experience of it as existing beyond time and space and until I did, it could only be a theory.
In 1987, I finally had finally reached a place in my personal growth and journey through fear ~ where I had pulled an internal switch and declared that “I will never say no to myself again or allow myself to be controlled by fear“.
It was from that same fearless place of self-acceptance in 1987, while attending a Life spring advanced seminar in San Francisco, that I crossed Bay Street in north San Francisco and walked into Fort Mason park, looked to my left and there it was ~ the scene I saw is the very picture that appears on the back cover flap of my book ~ Radical therapy, Surrender to love And Heal Yourself in Seven Sessions (not seven years).
It is important to note here that ~ Just as becoming a Navy Fighter pilot was an important part of my destiny and brought me to the San Francisco Bay area ~ the precognitive vision of the Golden Gate Bridge was a door that was opened to me as a young child and not only let the future in but proved to me that the love for my grandfather not only existed beyond time and space but was also the sole constant of the universe. See VT Article ~
I have had many personal experiences of the sensory sensation of being in the Unified Field of love and soul consciousness that exists not only beyond time and space but also beneath our deepest fears but this personal one stands out ~ it involved almost crashing after being launched at night off the USS Ranger on the South China sea, as a US Navy Carrier Pilot, in 1960 ~ for it was a matter of life and death and it became the foundation of my belief in this state of consciousness that lies beneath our deepest fears.
“Something was wrong! I was not gaining airspeed! The plane was shaking and obviously close to stalling speed and I was rapidly losing altitude.
Only seconds away from crashing I felt myself being physically crushed by fear and the enormity of my desperate situation. I was going to die! I fought to stay airborne. In a state of total fear and panic I frantically reviewed my only options. Crash, go down with the plane… eject and hope to stay alive long enough in the icy water and be picked up by the carrier which would have to be within 3 minutes. The stall horn was now blaring! I was only 50 feet over the water and seconds away from crashing and I felt myself being completely crushed into the seat by my fear ~ so I exercised my final option ~ I fully surrendered to that moment!
I let myself be seemingly crushed by fear and in that stillness of complete surrender I became totally clear, devoid of fear and panic and seemingly beyond time and space ~ the longest split second I have ever experienced!
In that timeless second of total surrender and fearless clarity, I instantly noticed that the gear landing light was still on and that I had obviously not raised it after takeoff ~ the plane was carrying too much drag to gain altitude and airspeed and I calmly raised the gear and regained airspeed and altitude.
In retrospect, after graduating from Advanced Fighter Training as a Naval Aviator ~ I was given the opportunity for carrier duty or astronaut training ~ and I chose flying off the carrier not realizing that in the process I would be exploring inner space and discover the sanctitude of the Unified Field of soul consciousness.
It was only years later, while experiencing a re-birthing exercise, did I connect that crushing feeling I had experienced that night on the South China Sea for it was indeed my original birth trauma and I had exercised the same option I did on that fearful night as a pilot 28 years later ~ I totally surrendered, from a place of numbing fear, and was born two minutes before my twin. I still vividly remember the three lights over the birthing table as I opened my fear closed eyes at the Boston Lying In Hospital on the morning of January 18, 1934.” See The Final Option ~
But I digress, I knew when I walked into Fort Mason Park in 1987 and looked to my left ~ that it was the exact vision I saw as a child ~ because of the way the light was reflecting off the bay as well as the houses off the Marina on the left. Of course, the Golden Gate Bridge was right in the middle ~ just as I saw it as a child!
Immediately bursting into tears, I ran up the grassy knoll overlooking a view of the bridge and let myself fully surrender to the moment ~ to that vision I had experienced more than 40 years before ~ I was beside myself with joy, delight, awe and wonder!
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery (The Little Prince)
I realized that I had finally found the proof for my Unified Field ~ and it was always within my own consciousness ~ all I had to do is say Yes to myself and not be controlled by fear.
That six year old little boy had obviously been in a state of soul consciousness, that exists beyond time and space, and before closing his heart, he let me know exactly where I would be when I would be seeing through his eyes again ~ and again, the event I was experiencing now had seemingly gone backwards in time.
This was my proof that there was no time and space within this state of consciousness and that love was indeed the sole constant of the universe!
I also deeply knew I was in sync with my destiny and now ready to fully own this truth as well as share and demonstrate it with my work ~ which I have done for over 40 years and within a month was sharing it as a keynote speaker at the American Holistic Associations annual meeting in Seattle, Washington and the title of my talk was the Unified Field.
All my consulting clients have access to these self-healing steps and have read this story in my updated Kindle Book RADICAL THERAPY, SURRENDER TO LOVE AND HEAL YOURSELF IN SEVEN SESSIONS (not seven years). Here is the Kindle link
And here’s a link to the YouTube Skype sessions of the self-healing process I teach and coach ~ Watch, in the first 20 minutes of session five, how Marina conquers her deepest fear by going through them as she demonstrates that beneath her pain and fear is a boundless joy ~ the same joy I felt that day in 1987. See video
So my whole lifetime narrative has indeed been a subconscious Quest to find that little boy and empower him to feel that deeply again and own and share his joyful truth with the world ~ which I was always meant to share.
In essence, the psychic pain of being seemingly separated from love is so great that emotionally we stop growing and our lives become a quest to recreate that pain in a subconscious attempt to go beneath that pain and reunite with our original state of wholeness and joy as well as intention and purpose.
As such, all of our love relationships are steps on this quest until we finally embrace the grand prize or Holy Grail ~ our authentic self and our part in a universal loving plan ~ the Unified Field . It was Teilhard who wrote in his last unpublished work, LE CHRISTIQUE ( The promised land ) of the inevitable consequences when this truth eventually appears; “sooner or later there will be a chain reaction ~ for the truth has to appear only once, in one single mind, for it to be impossible for anything ever to prevent it from spreading universally and setting everything ablaze.”
Thus, we are rapidly reaching the point where psychology, science and religion are all drawing closer to this great truth. Let me elaborate on that by using the scientific findings of the recent Nobel Prize winning researchers , Politzer, Gross and Wilczek, to prove my point. They won the 2004 Nobel prize in physics for their studies of the “strong Force” ~ the powerful and mysterious energy that holds the nuclei of atoms together . They explained the mystifying qualities of the strong force, which holds together the fundamental building blocks of nature, called QUARKS, to form protons and neutrons ~ two of the basic components of atoms.
Now, this is when it gets interesting.
Independently, they developed the theory and the mathematical equations to show that Quarks are held together by the strong force which, unlike any other force in the universe, gets stronger as the quarks get farther apart ~ a concept now known as “Asymptotic Freedom”. The simplest analogy is to a rubber band encircling two objects. When the objects are close together, the rubber band fits loosely. But as they are drawn apart, the rubber band stretches, trying to pull them back together. But I would now add that Asymptotic Freedom exists not only in the quantum world of the atom but also in the world of planets and galaxies ~ and is even more compelling evidence of our innate urge to unite, which is the principle property of the Unified Field .
In the February 2007 issue of Scientific American, Christopher Conselice writes of THE UNIVERSE’S INVISIBLE HAND ~ DARK ENERGY. His description of dark energy in space is exactly the same as how Asymptotic Freedom is described in the quantum world of the atom: “Dark Energy does more than hurry along the expansion of the universe ~ It has a strangle hold on the shape and spacing of galaxies. Dark Energy, unlike matter, does not clump in some places more than others; by its very nature, it is spread smoothly everywhere. Dark energy links everything together “ Now, here is my take on these findings as applied to my Unified Field of Love and Soul Consciousness. The strong force in the atom is also the urge to unite which is the principle property of my Unified Field. It is the same urge to unite that Einstein found when he discovered that photons ( light particles ) have a tendency to travel together versus act randomly ~ which eventually led to the discovery of the laser.
It is also the same urge to unite that Teilhard de Chardin speaks of when he wrote ~ If there were no real propensity to unite, even at a prodigiously rudimentary level, indeed, in the molecule itself ~ it would be physically impossible for love to appear higher up in the ‘ humanized ‘ or human form . It is also the same urge to unite that loved ones feel when they are separated from each other ~ and the further apart the stronger the pull to be back together.
Since I’m a twin, I can really relate to this urge to unite when I was sometimes separated from my twin in early childhood and now, since he died two years ago, he has returned to this Unified Field of love and soul consciousness and is one of my guardian angels. Asymptotic Freedom, the quantum strong force urge to unite, aka the Unified Field, not only exists within the atom but also exists in space as Dark Energy thus uniting the quantum world of the atom with the outer physical world of gravity, planets and galaxies (the Microcosm and the Macrocosm).
This would also seemingly explain how the urge to unite would increase as the Universe continues to expand (much like a rubber band). As such, it is a force that is stronger than Gravity ! Thus, the one constant of the universe would no longer be light at 186,000 miles per second for even light particles (photons) are subject to this force field of love ~ this driving propensity to unite which exists not only beyond time and space but also beneath our deepest fears and within the atom itself as Asymptotic Freedom. This would also explain why mankind is in the process of uniting while we seemingly are dividing and pulling away from each other.
My after-death experience with my Mother when she passed on in 1987, shortly after reading my AHMA paper on the Unified Field, as well as my after death experience with my twin brother after he passed a few years ago, are definitive proof to me that they are now in the Unified Field ~ a state of soul consciousness that exists beyond time and space and can no longer be called a theory but is instead a proven reality.
Her joyful loving words to me during that experience are a continuing affirmation of my work ~ “Allen, I Know, Allen I Know ”
And finally, on an individual level, it would explain the evolutionary power of love, altruism and social cooperation ~ and how mankind can no longer resist its innate pull and urge to unite versus fragment and separate.
It was the great Egyptian writer Mahfouz who wrote ” When the heart achieves its desire, you shall transcend time and space “ and the heart’s desire, I would maintain and have now lived, is to return to its original source of love, joy and soul consciousness ~ the Unified Field which, indeed, transcends time and space.
On Reaching 83 years, the words of Jack London ~ who I read voraciously in my childhood ~ still have special meaning to me ~ “ I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.”
Jack London, Jack London’s Tales of Adventure
But it is the words of my beloved mentor from beyond time and space, Teilhard de Chardin, which have acted as both a guide and beacon to not only see through different eyes but to also share my truth on this struggling planet with joy, intention and purpose.
“Love alone is capable of uniting living beings in such a way as to complete and fulfill them for it alone takes them and joins them to what is deepest within themselves.” ~ Teilhard de Chardin, The Phenomenon of Man
Heart centered spiritual consultant and advisor Allen L Roland can be contacted at [email protected] Allen is also a lecturer and writer who shares a weekly political and social commentary on his web log and website allenroland.com. He is also featured columnist on Veterans Today and is a featured guest on many radio and Television programs.