Trump nukes Honduran military base in retaliation for “invasion”

“It was our base? Oops!”

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Dissociated Press

Obeying an order issued by Commander-in-Chief Donald J. Trump, the United States Air Force has used a nuclear weapon to destroy Honduras’ biggest military installation.

At 7:31:06 this morning, Base Aerea Soto Cano in Comayagua, Honduras was instantly incinerated by a B83 thermonuclear weapon set to its maximum yield of 1.2 megatons dropped by a USAF B1A Lancer as ordered by President Trump in his first official act of the day.

Trump then called a press conference and explained: “A short time ago, an American aeroplane dropped one bomb on Comayagua and destroyed its usefulness to the enemy. That bomb has more power than one million tons of TNT.

“The Hondurans began this war with their attempt to invade our country. They have been repaid many fold and the end is not yet.”

Trump added that he has placed all US nuclear forces on hair-trigger alert and is prepared to use more nuclear weapons at the border if Honduran invaders throw rocks: “Anybody throwing rocks at our border will be considered to be using a nuclear weapon, and we will respond with much, much bigger nuclear weapons,” Trump explained, adding: “Our nuclear weapons are much, much, much bigger and harder than anybody’s, and ours don’t need all that much viagra to work.”

Trump said the nuclear bomb craters along the border would be filled with radioactive water and mutant crocodiles and used as a moat, alongside his planned Wall, to discourage illegal immigration.

Asked which Air Force Base supplied the BIA Lancer used to destroy Base Aerea Soto Cano, Trump deferred to National Security Advisor John Bolton. Bolton, after googling on his smart phone, explained that the nuclear armed bomber had been stationed at Base Aerea Soto Cano in Comayagua, Honduras.

Informed by reporters that he had just blown up an American military base, Trump blamed the media for the mistake, calling reporters “enemies of the people” before hastily exiting the press conference.

The newly-vaporized US Commander at Soto Cano, US Army Col. Winifred “Ashes” Ashton, could not be reached for comment .

25 COMMENTS

  1. The situation in America has changed so much so that we cannot afford to take in anymore immigrants that will put an additional strain on an already strained to the limit welfare system. States like California have approached third world status with the middle class escaping in droves, leaving only the wealthy liberal elites and the poor left. Cities like L.A., Anaheim, San Fransisco, Sacramento resemble Calcutta. Tent cities everywhere and the sanitary conditions dangerously out of control. The evidence of this is the rise of associated disease such as Typhus, are getting out of control.
    Allowing more people into the country will simply break the system. States That are already teetering on the verge of bankruptcy will not be able to tolerate the extra burden of additional welfare cases. They will simply go under.
    Another problem is the criminal element within these migrant groups, some of them MS-13 some convicted of attempted murder, who knows what we’re in for? Do you want to take the chance of a dangerous felon migrant roaming the streets of your town, one who could care less about you and your family and one who would just as soon murder one of your children as look at you.
    America is bankrupt and the coming collapse will be devastating to many, we do not need the additional stress of trying to take care of millions of migrants camping out in cities that have collapsed.

    • “Do you want to take the chance of a dangerous felon migrant roaming the streets of your town, one who could care less about you and your family”
      Hum… like many lawmakers in DC with double citiszenship ???

    • Your description of alleged immigration-driven social collapse not quite as insanely exaggerated as Trump’s overreaction in my satire. But it is pretty close. By objective measures, (1) the US is quite prosperous and comfortable compared to other times and places, and (2) evidence shows immigrants are LESS likely to be criminals and parasites than non-immigrants.

      So this whole “immigrant scare” thing is an exercise in politically-weaponized paranoid psychosis.

    • So this whole “immigrant scare” thing is an exercise in politically-weaponized paranoid psychosis.

      It seems to be working nicely on JohnZ.

    • It’s apparent there are some who still don’t understand economics.
      The so called prosperity Americans are enjoying is through the slavery of debt. The Massive bubble the Fed has created, as it has in the past is about to pop. That prosperity and comfort is about to vanish in the wind like so much smoke.
      The coming economic collapse, like the previous ones, all engineered by the Federal Reserve as they have done in the past will be much worse than the one in 2008.
      The truth is the Fed continues to make the same mistakes it always has and expects a different outcome, which according to Einstein is the equivalent of insanity.
      The facade that Americans are well off and comfortable is just that, a facade. The middle class is nearly finished and only 18 of the 50 states are in any reasonable financial situation. The rest are teetering on the brink of financial disaster, some at the edge of bankruptcy.
      Four California cities have declared bankruptcy, so has Hartford , Cm. California itself is close to bankrupt. Its cities more closely resemble third world cities like Calcutta.
      The addition of thousands of extra people will likely finish off the already strained to the limit welfare systems in California and elsewhere.
      America is nearing financial disaster, one that will make 2008 look like a minor market correction.

  2. I just did a Bing search, using “soros funding migration,” and I got 15,900,000 results: https://www.bing.com/search?q=soros+funding+migration&qs=HS&pq=soros+fu&sc=8-8&cvid=6D4972ED0EF34F1AAF55EBCB99E91C96&FORM=QBLH&sp=1 … Now if all of these sources are libelous, where are the lawsuits? It’s not as though Soros doesn’t have the money to file lawsuits. Capish? Do a little research and you will find who is primarily behind the push for mass immigration. It’s Soros’s fellow tribal members. It’s a well-documented fact.

    • The US was and is founded on mass immigration. But I guess some folks are very much against helping a few neighbors. It’s the “we’re in but no more after us” argument. But really it’s the ” tell the poor to buzz off, I’m enjoying my steak and wine” stance. I’m not sure which is more stupid or the least compassionate.
      You would think, after all the people we have killed and displaced in the last four hundred years, helping a few might be appealing, but Nooooooooo. Mine mine mine mine mine. me me me me me

    • David, it has nothing to do with it. So many cities and states are in dire economic straits. They are close to collapse and bankruptcy. Cities in California more closely resemble a third world city like Calcutta and the problem is spreading.
      It’s not a question of some moral authority but one of economic soundness and whether or not we are willing to see cities and states simple collapse under the weight of undocumented migrants, some of whom are criminals, all on welfare, with no where to house them as is the case in California, Oregon and Washington. The west coast will end up as one vast disease infested tent city with an open sewer and rampant crime.

  3. Don’t forget, the prevailing winds will blow much of the radioactive fallout up into Florida, where all the retired Jewish business people are waiting to be called to God. Not to mention all the redneck tRump supporters and Florida is red neck central.
    The unfortunate outcome is of course Daytona beach will no longer be the habitable for such things as Bike Week, NASCAR and other festivities like spring break….say good bye to all that, not to mention the loss of revenue; NASA/ Cape Canaveral will have to be closed down, Disney World shuttered, and Jimmy Buffet will be singing new songs like a Pirate Glows at Sixty or Wasted Away Again in Gammarayaville.
    Florida will either have to be evacuated or the government will say nothing and let nature takes its course. I’m betting on total blackout

  4. Don’t forget, the prevailing winds will blow much of the radioactive fallout up into Florida, where all the retired Jewish business people are waiting to be called to God. Not to mention all the redneck tRump supporters and Florida is red neck central.
    The unfortunate outcome is of course Daytona beach will no longer be the habitable for such things as Bike Week, NASCAR and other festivities like spring break….say good bye to all that, not to mention the loss of revenue; NASA/ Cape Canaveral will have to be closed down, Disney World shuttered, and Jimmy Buffet will be singing new songs like a Pirate Glows at Sixty or Wasted Away Again in Gammarayaville.
    Florida will either have to be evacuated or the government will say nothing and let nature takes its course. I’m betting on total news blackout.

  5. I don’t know why Trump send all these soldiers to the border and mumble foolish threats if all the migrants already know exist the Posse Comitatus Act which prohibits the use of army from acting in a law enforcement capacity within its home state….

    • Um, the primary mission of the US military is protecting our borders, but I understand how that basic directive has been forgotten. But yea, it is supposed to be against real threats, not political shenanigans.

      I went to grab this link, and found the explanatory video is not working, I guess 700 billion doesn’t buy what it used to. lol. https://www.defense.gov/our-story/

    • David, maybe one of the migrants is a direct descendant from Pancho Villa and he come to attack Columbus again and Trump he want play the role of ‘Black Jack’ Pershing… 😀

    • I seriously doubt if any of those migrants know of the Posse Comitatus Act.
      Willing to bet most Americans don’t either.
      Besides it’s pretty much been discarded, what with the militarization of cops and military bases being used for hacking into websites such as VT.
      See you in the FEMA camp.

    • JohnZ, yea, I’m sure Trump he would like to see himself in front of a mirror dressed like a five star general… or at least with a Napoleon hat…. 😀

    • my jewish grandfather rode in the cavalry under Pershing, they would have bought weed and tequila from the migrants. he came home and made moonshine out of cucumbers