Jews seek $500 trillion in global persecution reparations

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    Dissociated Press

    Following Israel’s demand for $250 billion  in reparations from Arab nations, the World Jewish Congress (otherwise known as WorldJewCon, or WJC) has upped the ante, demanding an additional $500 trillion in persecution reparations from the entire world.

    WJC spokesman Rob Sheisterstein announced the demand from his royal penthouse suite atop the Hotel President Wilson in Geneva, Switzerland. (The Hotel Wilson, alongside the other 82 five-star hotels in Switzerland, was recently donated in perpetuity as partial reparations for the Swiss role in the Holocaust.)

    “Holocaust reparations? Mazel Tov. Arab reparations? Double-plus Mazel Tov,” Sheisterstein enthused. “But why stop there? Jews have been persecuted for centuries and millennia, not just by Germans and Arabs, but by everyone. Everywhere Jews have gone, we’ve had, shall we say, major conflicts with our neighbors. And guess what? It’s always the neighbors’ fault! They just keep right on persecuting us for no reason. So they owe us. Do they ever owe us! I mean, big time!”

    Sheisterstein explained that Jews have not only been persecuted everywhere they have gone, but have actually been expelled from at least 109 countries: “That’s most of the planet. Heck, if we’d moved to Antarctica, the penguins would have persecuted us. Why? Because that’s what goyish Penguins do! They are all just naturally anti-Semitic.”

    Sheisterstein unveiled a chart detailing the WJC plan to extract $500 trillion in global persecution reparations “from every goy on earth. Now that may sound like a lot of money, but if you do the math, it’s only around $7,000 per goy. Considering the incomparable suffering they’ve inflicted on us, it’s bubkes—chicken feed! We’re letting them off easy! Seven grand per goy, that’s nothing. That’s less than each American has coughed up for the 9/11 wars for Israel!”

    Asked how the goys were going to come up with $500 trillion when the world’s entire net wealth is only $280 trillion, Sheisterstein offered a simple solution. “Easy! They just borrow the other $220 trillion from us at compound interest.”

    When a journalist wondered what on earth WJC needs $500 trillion for, Sheisterstein offered a succinct answer: “to fight anti-Semitism.”


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    14 COMMENTS

    1. $500 T (?) Isn’t that how much the Rothschilds are worth (?) – well – as noted on alt news sites. These Khazars aren’t even Semitic yet sponsor all the org’s that want your money, or whatever is left after you pay the tax, that goes to the IRS, that goes straight to the Fed, that goes straight to the City of London coffers. Sort of HUTA.

    2. Sheisterstein 😄
      This satire however is not far from truth, as anyone who denies the coming and being of Greater Israel is in danger of being persecuted and asset-stripped by international zionist inquisition.

    3. What can the Palestinians expect as compensation? In fact what can non-Zinoist’s expect as compensation for the monstrous Machevillian “tender ministrations” of this vile cabel wrought upon the world for the past 2,000 years?
      Where does one begin…..?

    4. The problem with this farce is it’s continuation. The Jews have a strangle hold, through bribery, blackmail, and election funding, on most of the governments on the planet. Because of this the idiots puppets continue to approve, to the detriment of their own, these Zionist Jewish raids on the treasuries the puppets control. The only way to stop them is to (fill in the blank).
      The Jewish Zionist bankers start the wars I and II, then dominate the writing of the treaties, pencil in the restitutions, and they are forever. It’s clever but blatant and obscene how it works. Germany is a text book example. To this day German people are made to feel guilty, and it begins in grammar school. Heck, they’re doing it here, check out what Spielberg is promoting. There must be an end to this extortion by lies. It’s time the Jews answered the question: Why have you been expelled 102 times from civil nations? They have their own nation now. Move there or STFU.

    5. Mr. Shitstien YOU have a serious problem and nothing short of sleeping on the nearest train tracks would help you .FOOL ..

      • So very true foe these people . Dreaming all day about being the 4ever victim and the whole world owes them . For the better part of the world I hope there are no more German POW guards to suffer their so called trials . .

    6. Enjoyed thanks.
      A musing Sheisterstein parody.
      “Fiction is the lie through which we tell the truth.”

    7. Thanks for the chuckles; and what is really funny is that most of my favorite Comedians are Jews. And I think that they would laugh as well. Self depreciating humour is always funny ala Rodney Dangerfield.

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