Jared Kushner ‘surprised almost to death’ Palestinians told him to screw himself (and the horse he rode in on)

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Political satire: US President Donald Trump’s son-in-law and adviser Jared Kushner, who is believed to be the architect of a recently proposed “peace plan” for Israel and Palestine, says he was “surprised almost to death” when Palestinians of all factions rejected the deal “merely because they had not negotiated it.”

“The Palestinians have a perfect track record of blowing every opportunity President Trump has offered them in the past,” said a visibly angry Kushner on CNN on Wednesday. “Still, I was surprised almost to death when their leaders dismissed the deal merely because they had not negotiated it!”

A Palestinian in wheelchair resists The Occupation

Kushner, who had no political or foreign policy record until he was named senior White House adviser when Trump took office in 2017, said he was “very well-informed” on the Israeli-Palestinian subject.

“I’ve read 25 books on it. They were so hard I’ve decided I will never read again,” he said. “I’ve also spoken to every leader in the region, I’ve spoken to everyone who’s been involved in this — well, except for the Palestinians — I was very tired from reading the books.”

Kushner said he had been expecting Palestinian gratitude for “all the effort Ivanka and I put into this,” referring to his wife Ivanka Trump, who is also a White House adviser.

“It took us three years to put almost everything — everything — Israel wanted in the deal. It was no Iran nuclear deal!” he said mockingly, referring to a multilateral nuclear agreement with Iran that Trump withdrew America from in 2018.

The peace plan was unveiled by Trump with much fanfare at the White House on Tuesday. He was flanked by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and no Palestinian leader during the unveiling ceremony, where Trump in a speech framed the agreement as a “win-win” and where dozens of US officials and a handful of foreign ambassadors frantically clapped their hands at every other sentence Trump said in the speech.

Kushner, who was present at the event, said he had been moved by all the applause.

“Obviously, I am still a little down because of the Palestinian rebuttal, but I will not let that in any way affect my determination to negotiate more deals like this in the future,” he said, as he blinked seemingly uncontrollably in one eye.

(Political satire from Press TV)

About Press TV
Press TV is a 24-hour English language news and documentary network, affiliated with Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting (IRIB).

IRIB is state-owned but independent of the Iranian government in its management and is the only legal TV and radio broadcaster inside Iran. IRIB’s head is appointed directly by the supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, and is considered to be close to the country’s conservative political faction. Press TV is headquartered in Tehran with offices and bureaus around the world; including London, Beirut, Damascus, Kabul, and the Gaza Strip.

*All posts on behalf of PressTV are made by Jim W. Dean
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4 COMMENTS

  1. When dictation is the order of the day; Can anyone tell me what 1 choice, opposed to at least multiple choices will manifest? They call themselves the chosen! Choosing a choice between something and nothing is usually nothing. Traveling down a one-way street means only one thing, chaos and turmoil as soon as the traffic light changes, and a left turn is made into oncoming traffic.
    So much for intelligentsia, where the fickle find lucid psychedelics, as in, creating their own satanic myth… Far from the lucidity of luciferin reason and object duality where men use reason as a weapon against magic and Kabbalistic Zoharian make believe and conjecture that facilitates lucid dreaming while speculating one is awake and cognizant of their environment. Opposed to the awakening, that you’re not the only ones that inhabit the space your flesh and blood take up from breathing the pollution from one’s psyche! Thusly, psychopathic delusional formats of Talmudic formula create the we can say and do anything we like if it pleases us!… Delusional intellegencia backed by American GI Blood is flowing on the borderline of insanity and useless war retarded dementia… when the last thing you did you cannot remember you did it and keep repeating the same thing as though it is something new! Narrasistic delusional insanity is running the definition of hegemony by the priest of money and the will to kill and subtract from planet overcrowding and resource management that facilitates bloodletting.

  2. “The Palestinians have a perfect track record of blowing every opportunity President Trump has offered them in the past,” said a visibly angry Kushner on CNN on Wednesday. “Still, I was surprised almost to death when their leaders dismissed the deal merely because they had not negotiated it!”
    What an arrogant, presumptuous, and ignorant thing for this entitled, unqualified soy boy to say!

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