Shrimpton: Free At Last!

Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty we are free at last! Not least since he was shamefully assassinated by the German DVD in 1968 I am sure that the great American orator and civil rights leader Dr. King would not mind me quoting him.

At 2300 hours Zulu, 1800 hours Eastern Standard Time, on Friday the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland left the European Union. It’s the biggest win over Germany since the 1966 World Cup Final. Two world wars, one World Cup, the Cold War and now the EU! If I were Jerry I’d give up now.

A German hissy-fit was always on the cards. Somebody’s already tried to burn down the Law Society building in Chancery Lane (it doesn’t sound like a wiring fault to me). Thankfully it seems that the lovely old law library, whereas it happens I was researching on Friday ahead of my three-day battle this week with the Solicitors Regulation Authority, has been saved. And no, the fire didn’t start in the library! An Islamic nutter went on a stabbing spree with a machete in Streatham High Road this afternoon, but he was quickly and very properly shot by the police. Thankfully there was no innocent loss of life.

For the Evil Empire, this is the beginning of the end. It will continue to fracture, with further non-core states spinning off. Assuming that there isn’t another Anglo-German war, which Germany always risks with its shameful policy of quasi-war, it will be a slow process, but the EU’s ultimate collapse is now inevitable. It will then join the Third Reich and Joe Biden’s presidential campaign in the dustbin of history.

The German economy is going to tank after the end of the year. The Anglo-European free trade negotiations will be a joke. The EU wants to keep strangling our economy in red tape and we want to take full advantage of the wonderful opportunities Brexit will open up. Even the Kabinettratsführer, sorry Cabinet Secretary, will struggle to achieve the Cabinet Office’s aim of throttling the economy and holding Britain back. (For the benefit of new readers the Cabinet Office was set up in 1916 as an adjunct of the Imperial German Secret Service with a view to damaging Britain’s war effort, in which it was successful.)

The UK is Germany’s most important export market, but the raw numbers don’t show the full story (do they ever?). UK buyers, like American ones, tend to buy higher-end imports, where the profit margins are higher and German companies up their prices for the UK. Had we retained our volume car manufacturing base of course gouging British consumers would be more difficult, but German intelligence, aided by the Cabinet Office, did for the British car industry. Not all those union leaders were working for their members!

There’s no way the UK will ever re-join the EU. As Michael Gove stated on Sky News on Friday the 2016 referendum revealed the deep division over membership in British society, rather than caused it. In fact, we voted to leave in 1975, but the Cabinet Office rigged the count. Apparently the Germans never told the French, Dutch or Italians that their man Allen had rigged the vote. For decades EU leaders labored under the delusion that membership was popular in Britain. Some were even shocked by the result, especially those who don’t read VT.

Brexit Heroes

In this hour of victory, it’s time to remember those who are no longer with us but longed for this day. I’m sure my old friend Nigel Farage, a hero of this lengthy campaign, will not mind my giving the first mention to Steve Thoburn, the original Metric Martyr and the only one not to survive the battle, sadly.

He was a wonderful man, as honest as the day is long and stout-hearted. He would not be bullied by Brussels and saw no reason why he couldn’t sell a pound of bananas, if they were good bananas, and the price was fair, as his prices always were. He loved his customers and they loved him.

The country was shocked by the Metric Martyrs case. Parliament only ever agreed to the European Communities Act 1972 on the basis that later legislation would impliedly repeal the act, in accordance with British constitutional norms. To have a European directive rammed down our throats by the courts in defiance of an Act of Parliament was an outrage. Not for nothing was the first Cabinet meeting in the north held in his home town of Sunderland.

Steve died of natural causes, clearly related to the stress of his shameful prosecution, but others were murdered, usually on German orders. The first assassination linked to our membership was that of Labour Opposition Leader Hugh Gaitskell. He was murdered, with a bio-weapon, to clear the way for the German agent Harold Wilson, who applied for membership after becoming Prime Minister in 1964.

Corrupt and dishonest, Wilson agreed to the rigging of the vote in 1975. He also enthusiastically endorsed German’s strategy of sabotaging our aircraft industry, our most important. It was fellow German (DVD) agent Roy Jenkins who shamefully scrapped the superb TSR2 supersonic bomber.

After Wilson failed to take us in the German agent Louis Mountbatten, son of the equally notorious German spy Louis von Battenberg (who sacrificed Admiral Craddock’s antiquated squadron at the Battle of Coronel) tried to mount a military coup, backed by the Cabinet Secretary, in 1968. So much for the EU’s claim of democracy!

Wilson, of course, was succeeded by another German agent, Sir Edward Heath, who took us in without a referendum or clear general election mandate, in 1973. Heath and fellow German agent Tony Barber, who shopped the Great Escape (he was the Abwehr’s man on the Escape Committee) then sabotaged the British economy, aided by Germany of course. Huge amounts of cash were generated in offshore trading programmes, which along with VAT and higher food prices due to the EEC’s wasteful Common Agricultural Policy triggered a period of hyperinflation.

In November 1975 doughty EEC membership opponent Ross McWhirter was assassinated on the orders of Cabinet Secretary John Hunt. Ross’s murder was laundered through the German-sponsored IRA terrorist organisation. The next man to be assassinated, this time by the INLA, a German-sponsored IRA splinter group, was Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher’s key intelligence adviser, Airey Neave DSO MC. He was blown up in the House of Commons car park, a dangerous place to be at the best of times, in 1979.

Argentina’s invasion of the Falklands Islands in 1982 was also inextricably linked to the EEC, giving the lie to those liberal idiots, if that is not a tautology, who insist, usually after smoking something, that the EU is something to do with peace. The plan, dreamt up by the DVD of course, was to force my old friend Margaret Thatcher into resigning. It backfired after the Defence Intelligence Staff contrived to find a way of keeping the Chief of the Defence Staff out of the way (it’s always important to keep CDS out of the way in a crisis).

Thankfully Margaret saw the First Sea Lord, Admiral Sir Henry Leach, a splendid old sea dog, whose father had been blown out of the water on HMS Prince of Wales in 1941, Admiral Phillips’s squadron having been sacrificed by the Abwehr’s Sir Edward Bridges, who should have been shot, nicely of course. (In the end, decades were to pass before we finally got round to executing a Cabinet Secretary, which was ludicrous.) Sir Henry correctly told the PM that the islands could be recovered, which of course they were.

The next EU-related coup took place in 1990 when the Germans finally got rid of Margaret Thatcher, having first arranged for their Irish poodles, the IRA, to murder Ian Gow, her key political intelligence adviser. I am not saying, by the way, that the pro-EU John Major was in the loop on the decision to assassinate Ian Gow – I’m neutral on the point.

The non-eponymous Major’s decision to ram through the Maastricht Treaty led to the formation of the Referendum Party by that nice man Sir James Goldsmith. The party posed a real threat to Britain’s EU membership, so GO2 arranged to have Sir James assassinated, using one of Porton Down’s nasties (induced pancreatic cancer – I gather that Porton weren’t entirely happy about it and they gave willing cooperation after it was decided to take the GO2 stooge, Jeremy Heywood, out in the aftermath of the Olympic nuclear bombing scandal.)

The next EU-related assassination, in 2010, was that of courageous journalist Christopher Story, an old friend, using a method similar to that used against Sir James, weaponized cancer. In Christopher’s case he was given a smoked salmon sandwich in Erie, PA, contaminated with liver cancer cells coated by proteins (apobec cytidine deaminase) to ease absorption into the bloodstream. Shortly before he died Christopher realised that he had been assassinated with a bioweapon. Judging from my last conversation with him, when he knew that he was dying, I suspect that poor old James Goldsmith knew he had been done in by the Jerries as well.

When the referendum finally came about, in 2016, and polls showed that the Evil Empire was losing, Heywood and GO2 came up with the bright idea of assassinating one of their own sides, nice Labour MP Jo Cox, in the hope that the Good Guys (Leave) would be blamed. In the events which happened, although the assassination may have gained the Bad Guys 2.5 – 5 points, the public saw through the con. The CPS was then told to come up with a lone killer theory, which made about as much sense as the idea that Lee Harvey Oswald killed President Kennedy.

The Falklands War (which the Foreign Office, who weren’t there, still insist was a skirmish) wasn’t the only EU-related war. In fact, there were several others, all in the Balkans, after the UK agreed at Maastricht to the breakup of Yugoslavia. Fifty years after the end of the Second World War the EU brought war and genocide back to European soil. So much for it being a vehicle of peace.

There many other Brexit heroes of course who died of natural causes, many of them friends – Margaret Thatcher, whose Bruges speech reignited Euroscepticism in Britain, Lord Shore, Tony Benn, that fine old stalwart Sir Teddy Taylor and Ross’s twin brother Norris, a charming man. Of the heroes still, with us Boris Johnson has to offer that nice man Nigel Farage a peerage. If he doesn’t the PM will look churlish.

Der Kabinettratsführer

As Nigel Farage said in his splendid speech to a packed Parliament Square on Friday night the war is over. We’ve won! That does not mean that there aren’t challenges and battles ahead, as Nigel himself acknowledged. The first priority will be to offload the Cabinet Secretary. His war against the government and the Tory Party gathered pace this week, as he piled on the pressure over the absurd HS2 high-speed railway line.

Boris’s honeymoon has lasted barely two months, including Christmas. The HS2 decision will split the Tory Party. It is of course linked to the £50m bung that Jeremy ‘von’ Heywood arranged. The project has been tainted by fraud – halving the true cost in the original estimates and using income projections based on 18 trains an hour when the system is only designed to handle 15. Unlike a legacy rail line, HS2 won’t be able to handle freight, of course.

The compromise plan to terminate the line at Birmingham means we’ll end up with the worst of both worlds, with massive costs and disruption and a line that doesn’t even reach the north. The £100 plus billion this nonsense is going to cost could be used to restore the Beeching cuts, but even the government’s timid proposals, limited to just two short lines, are likely to be frustrated by the Cabinet Office. This time, instead of halving the cost estimate they’ll probably double it!

If Boris doesn’t fire ‘von’ Sedwill soon his premiership will be finished. He won’t be forced out this year, or possibly not even next year, but as the Cabinet Office frustrate policy after policy questions marks will be raised about his ability to deliver. It will be done nicely of course, and he’ll be offered a peerage, but sooner or later a delegation of suits will arrive at Chequers. The Tory Party won’t want another house-trained failure like John Major or David Cameron, no offense intended.

Scotland

Donald Tusk has opened up a new front in Scotland. On the very weekend that the UK left the EU he threatened to break the country up. The Commission has given up on a Canada-style free trade deal, which they never wanted anyway. The new plan appears to be to delay the negotiations until after the 2021 Scottish elections, in the hope that the pro-EU SNP win. No doubt the scenario envisages Scotland never leaving the single market.

The price of Scottish membership would inevitably include basing French and German military units in Scotland. It isn’t going to happen. The issue of Scottish ‘independence’ (the SNP don’t want the independence of course – they want Scotland to be run by the EU) was settled for a generation in 2014. As a hard border comes in between the Republic and Northern Ireland it will ram home the dangers of a hard border at Gretna Green, which would tank the Scottish economy.

Auschwitz

This week marked the 75^th anniversary of the liberation by the Russian forces of the German concentration camp at Auschwitz-Birkenau. Notice that I said ‘German’ – the death camp was a German government, not the Nazi Party, installation.

The Holocaust happened on his watch whilst our community partner Adolf Hitler as German Chancellor, so he couldn’t be heard to deny responsibility, but the key drivers of the Holocaust were Admiral Canaris, a man so evil that he could have been a Cabinet Secretary, no offense intended, and the Muslim leader the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem. German wanted control of the Middle East for its oil. You cannot understand the German genocide policy unless you understand the strategic motives behind it.

The anniversary is important – the survivors of the Holocaust won’t be around for much longer, sadly, and it’s important for young people to listen to their moving stories. I think the oft-quoted figure of six million is a little bit high, but it’s only rounded up. After the Spanish Flu pandemic, the Holocaust was the second-worst genocide in history.

Huawei

The Cabinet Office argument that you can isolate the core parts of the UK’s 5G network is nonsense, almost by definition. (Nearly all Cabinet Office statements are nonsense.)  The decision to let Huawei makes about as much sense as inviting visitors from Wuhan, especially those showing flu-like symptoms. It will have to be reversed, preferably sooner rather than later.

I see nothing particularly suspicious about the Coronavirus. Chinese live seafood and poultry markets are dangerous – this rather looks like a Chinese own goal. The Administration has acted responsibly in imposing a travel ban and the UK should do likewise, with Huawei executives at the top of the queue!

The Kobe Bryant crash

I don’t see anything particularly suspicious in this tragic crash. I’m against civilian helo operations in IFR conditions over urban areas or high terrain at the best of times. Sadly it looks like a case of poor airmanship, compounded by an inadequate ATC warning, which was not of the “pull up now, you’re all about to die” type.

Since Kobe was a coach, not even the Clippers had a motive to sabotage his helo, and it’s not as though he was coaching Little League baseball. (We in England expect regular homicides of Little League coaches from outraged parents!) The old rule about not descending below your safety height in instrument conditions unless you’re sure of your position still applies, indeed you should never descend below your safety height, which of course will vary with the terrain. In fairness to the pilot, we don’t know what instructions he was being given. If you’re chartering a plane or helo, or you’re lucky enough to own one, you should always leave safety considerations to the pilots.

My commiserations to Kobe Bryant’s friends and family, and the LA Lakers of course.

This week’s movie review: Whisky Galore (2016, dir. Giles Makinnon)

Shown on BBC2 last night, this is a wonderful remake of the 1949 Ealing original, starring Remainer comedian Eddie Izzard, who actually does rather well as the bumbling, officious Home Guard officer Captain Waggett.

As part of its plan to damage British morale, the Cabinet Office fooled the government into rationing whiskey in World War II. Quite why it needed rationing, since it’s a home-grown brew, they never condescended to explain. The Luftwaffe never actually bombed a distillery.

Tragedy strikes on the fictional Hebridean island of Todday when the pub runs out of whiskey. Providentially the SS Cabinet Minister is then wrecked off the island, carrying 50,000 cases for export to you guys. The story, by Compton Mackenzie, was inspired by the shipwreck of the SS Politician off Eriskay in 1941. (With a name like that it was bound to run onto the rocks!)

Taking a broad view of salvage law the canny islanders liberate the whiskey and hide it from Captain Waggett and the Excise men. The local minister prohibits salvage on the Sabbath of course but treats the wreck as a blessing from the Lord and a benefaction for the thirsty islanders, to whom whiskey was the water of life.

The film is not as good as the original, released as Tight Little Island in the States, but then where would you find actors as good as Basil Radford and Gordon Jackson? Unlike the original it’s in color, however, the scenery is superb and the very Scottish soundtrack quite wonderful. It’s life-enhancing and huge fun.

I’m an Englishman and a High Tory, but like all true Englishmen, my sympathies are with the islanders. Who would want to deprive them of a wee dram, even 50,000 cases? I doubt that my greatly-valued former client Robbie the Pict would have a different view. Our opinions on the importance of whiskey (whiskey on your side of the pond of course!) coincide.

Michael Shrimpton

Michael Shrimpton was a barrister from his call to the Bar in London in 1983 until being disbarred in 2019 over a fraudulently obtained conviction. He is a specialist in National Security and Constitutional Law, Strategic Intelligence and Counter-terrorism. He is a former Adjunct Professor of Intelligence Studies at the American Military University.

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