Trump Announces Urban Renewal Plan: Pallet Loads of Bricks for Inner City Youth


Dissociated Press

Stung by criticism that his administration hasn’t done enough to help rebuild America’s inner cities, President Trump yesterday unveiled a bold new infrastructure plan for government-sponsored distribution of thousands of pallet loads of free bricks in America’s hardest-hit urban neighborhoods.

“Wherever people protest, we are pre-empting their demands by giving them lots of free bricks to build things with,” Trump announced from a corner of the White House lawn freshly cleared by tear gas and rubber bullets.

Trump explained that he had made a deal with the CointelBro Brick Company, owned by Jared Kushner’s cousin “Joizy Dave” Brickowitz, to divert thousands of pallets of bricks left over from now-forgotten plans to build a wall somewhere, and drop them off in the midst of inner-city protests. Trump explained his rationale: “Have you ever been to the ghetto? Those old brick buildings look terrible, just terrible. But with all these pallet loads of free bricks, the savages—I mean, the, the, uh, black people—will be able to rebuild all those buildings with fresh bricks and make the ghetto great again!”

The press conference was abruptly canceled when a CointelBro (TM) brick struck Trump in the forehead, knocking him unconscious.

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  1. You may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
    You may find yourself in another part of the world
    You may find yourself behind a large automobile
    You may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful (life)
    You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?
    Letting the days go by water flowing underground…,
    And you might ask yourself
    how did those bricks get here?
    And you might as yourself
    Why is that police automobile abandoned in the street
    and you may tell yourself
    this is not my beautiful city
    and you may tell yourself
    this is not my beautiful George
    letting the days go by,… let the knee hold me down…
    Why do you think they are rioting in the street?

  2. Far more terrifying than the rioting in 175 American cities is Donald Trump’s looting of the human heart.

    He is using black magic these kids.

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