Home Government Election 2020 Satire: Trump to retaliate against Russia by sending Jared K to offer...

Satire: Trump to retaliate against Russia by sending Jared K to offer advice on COVID

0
883

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an act of retaliation against the Russians for sponsoring Taliban attacks on U.S. troops in Afghanistan, Donald J. Trump is sending Jared Kushner to the Kremlin to offer advice on its coronavirus response, the White House confirmed on Monday.

“To all those who thought that this President was not taking the Russians’ actions seriously, this response should speak for itself,” the White House press secretary, Kayleigh McEnany, said. “The President had an array of responses to choose from, and the one he selected is by far the most punishing.”

According to White House insiders, Trump and his advisers debated the response to the Russians for hours before finally settling on the Kushner option late Sunday night.

“Jared Kushner is the most brutal weapon in our arsenal, and deploying him is a decision that no one should ever take lightly,” one adviser said.

McEnany indicated that Kushner will be dispatched to the Kremlin by Monday afternoon and will start advising the Kremlin on ventilators, personal protective equipment, and other coronavirus-related matters as early as Tuesday.

“He will bring Russia to its knees,” she said.

Many in Washington were surprised by the severity of Trump’s retaliation against the Russians, including the esteemed virologist Dr. Anthony Fauci.

“I know that the Russians are our enemies, but I’m still not sure I would wish Jared Kushner on them,” he said.

 

About VT Editors
VT Editors is a General Posting account managed by Jim W. Dean and Gordon Duff. All content herein is owned and copyrighted by Jim W. Dean and Gordon Duff
ATTENTION READERS
Due to the nature of independent content, VT cannot guarantee content validity.
We ask you to Read Our Content Policy so a clear comprehension of VT's independent non-censored media is understood and given its proper place in the world of news, opinion and media.

All content is owned by author exclusively. Expressed opinions are NOT necessarily the views of VT, other authors, affiliates, advertisers, sponsors, partners or technicians. Some content may be satirical in nature. All images within are full responsibility of author and NOT VT.

About VT - Read Full Policy Notice - Comment Policy