In a stirring statement sure to lift the flagging spirits of America’s tens of millions of unemployed people, Ivanka Trump has reminded them that there are still plenty of worms, insects, garbage, and other free food sources available. “All it takes is some good old fashioned American gumption, creativity, and can-do spirit,” Ivanka said at the press rollout for her Find Something New to Eat campaign.
“There has never been a more critical time for Americans of all ages and backgrounds to be aware of the multiple pathways to caloric and nutritional sustenance in an increasingly automated, COVID-devastated jobs-free economy,” the President’s billionaire daughter said. Citing insects as a good source of B vitamins, grass and weeds as potential sources of vitamins A and C, and sunshine as a gold mine for vitamin D, Ivanka said that most Americans already get way too many calories and that it would be good for them to have to hunt cockroaches in their kitchens at night and grub in the earth by day for ants, earthworms, corpses, and other protein sources.
The First Daughter also noted that gated communities for Jewish billionaires routinely discard copious quantities of delicious 100% kosher scraps: “All you have to do is find the dumpster outside the gate, and voila! You’re eating just like Jared and I do, except that some of it is a little bit rotten, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers, can they?”
Reaction to Ivanka’s “Find Something New to Eat” campaign has been mixed. Nancy Pelosi said Ivanka was insensitive to the plight of ordinary Americans, who ought to just eat gourmet ice cream out of $30,000 freezers like she does. Meanwhile, the handful of remaining Trump supporters, all four of them Q-Anon diehards, claimed that Ivanka was playing 3-D chess and that her discussion of digging up and eating corpses was a secret message about where the Jeffrey Epstein bodies are buried.
Dr. Kevin Barrett, a Ph.D. Arabist-Islamologist is one of America’s best-known critics of the War on Terror.
He is the host of TRUTH JIHAD RADIO; a hard driving weekly radio show funded by listener donations at Patreon.com and FALSE FLAG WEEKLY NEWS (FFWN); an audio-video show produced by Tony Hall, Allan Reese, and Kevin himself. FFWN is funded through FundRazr.
He also has appeared many times on Fox, CNN, PBS, and other broadcast outlets, and has inspired feature stories and op-eds in the New York Times, the Christian Science Monitor, the Chicago Tribune, and other leading publications.
Dr. Barrett has taught at colleges and universities in San Francisco, Paris, and Wisconsin; where he ran for Congress in 2008. He currently works as a nonprofit organizer, author, and talk radio host.