Trump to Dead Supporters: Vote Early and Often!

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Dissociated Press

President Donald Trump is facing a storm of criticism after calling on dead people to vote for him “early and often.”

Responding to critics, Trump explained that he was not urging dead people to cast “just ten or twenty” votes each, which would be illegal, and might not work anyway. Instead, he said, each corpse should cast “hundreds or thousands” of votes as a safeguard to make sure that at least one of them is counted.

Trump explained that deceased people are routinely discriminated against in the voting process. “That’s one of the Democrats’ ways of rigging elections,” he said. “They make it hard for dead people to vote. Coffin lids are intentionally screwed on really tight, and most corpses are not buried with a shovel to remove the earth over their heads on election day. What’s worse, there aren’t nearly enough hearses to get all the corpses to the polls.”

Trump said all this was part of a Democratic plot—a “cemetery plot” as he called it—to steal the election. “You might be surprised to learn that dead people support me two to one over Biden, even though he looks and acts like one of them,” Trump explained. “That’s because my base, white racist old fogies, are dying out in record numbers—especially after I told them all to go out and catch COVID-19.”

Trump finished the press conference by calling on Karl Rove to unearth the corpse of Michael Connell and set him to work “fixing the voting machines” to help the deceased community overcome discrimination and cast a “yuuuuuge” number of pro-Trump votes.

Biography
Dr. Kevin Barrett, a Ph.D. Arabist-Islamologist, is one of America’s best-known critics of the War on Terror.

He is host of TRUTH JIHAD RADIO; a hard driving weekly radio show funded by listener donations at Patreon.com and FALSE FLAG WEEKLY NEWS (FFWN); a audio-video show produced by Tony Hall, Allan Reese, and Kevin himself. FFWN is funded through FundRazr.

He also has appeared many times on Fox, CNN, PBS and other broadcast outlets, and has inspired feature stories and op-eds in the New York Times, the Christian Science Monitor, the Chicago Tribune, and other leading publications.

Dr. Barrett has taught at colleges and universities in San Francisco, Paris, and Wisconsin; where he ran for Congress in 2008. He currently works as a nonprofit organizer, author, and talk radio host.
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10 COMMENTS

  1. Trump is in desperation mode. Or, has he been following the Chinese Calendar, ‘cos this is the Seventh Month of the Hungry Ghost where Hell opens up and let the spirits roam the Earth for the month. He begging these spirits for help to win the re-election. He may not wish what he have asked though!

  2. Please use your brain VT! Democrats are known for letting dead people vote vie mail for them! Its the known fraud committed by democrats since centuries! Thats the joke Trump told you! but you dont get it and you didnt care about that in the past as long as dead people vote blue you guyz are fine!