Bill Gates Apologizes for Smallpox Vial in his Refrigerator

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    Emerging disease magnate Bill Gates has issued a heartfelt apology for keeping a vial of smallpox virus in his refrigerator. At a press conference held at the spaceport on the roof of his 300-acre Seattle mansion, Gates explained that he simply likes to collect things, especially rare and dangerous diseases, and that he never intended to uncork the vial and unleash the scourge—at least not unless his bioweapon/vaccine depopulation efforts fail.

    The smallpox vial was discovered by one of Gates’ maids while she was cleaning the filthy, mold-encrusted refrigerator. A tearful Gates, trying his best to sob exactly like Kyle Rittenhouse, explained: “After Melinda found out about my escapades with Jeffrey Epstein and left me, I stopped using the refrigerator, which is why everything in there got so moldy and disgusting. Honestly, I never intended to have Consuela clean it! She just got fed up with the smell and took it on herself. When she found the smallpox she called the CDC, and the next thing you know their SWAT team was busting into my kitchen! It was every billionaire exotic disease collector’s worst nightmare.”

    Gates denied conspiracy theorists’ claims that he intended to smear the smallpox on blankets for distribution in Africa. “Africans don’t even use blankets! It’s way too hot! And besides, I already gave them AIDS, Ebola, and some other classified stuff that I can’t talk about.”

    As for what became of Gates’ smallpox vial, an anonymous CDC source claims it is now tucked away safely in the back of Anthony Fauci’s refrigerator.

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    10 COMMENTS

    1. The Internet of Bio-Nano-Things-
      Re-engineer natural mechanisms to transmit information that is different from the natural.
      Genetically reprogramme the behaviour of cells within their natural form of communication.
      Develop new artificial communications systems by assembling natural biological components

      H. R. 4373
      A BILL
      To provide for a coordinated Federal research initiative to ensure continued United States leadership in engineering biology.

      Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,

      SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.

      This Act may be cited as the “Engineering Biology Research and Development Act of 2019”
      by Global Biodefense Staff  November 9, 2019

      SEC. 2. FINDINGS.

      The Congress makes the following findings:

      (1) Cellular and molecular processes may be used, mimicked, or redesigned to develop new products, processes, and systems that improve societal well-being, strengthen national security, and contribute to the economy.

      The Covid-19 pandemic began in the Chinese city of Wuhan in December 2019.

    2. Kevin. You have to stop picking on Gates and Fauci. Jim and Gordon steadfastly swear that these guys are “clean”. Can anybody in the intelligence game really be that dumb. Of course not. Have a Happy Thanksgiving and make sure to view new film “Belfast” with Van Morrison tunes.

    3. Hilarious,Kevin. By the way, I really enjoyed your interview with Michael Hudson over on the Unz Review today. I never comment on that site because it is such a cesspool of invective and ad hominem attacks, but is there some way to bring it to VT?

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