The Russians are doing as well in the war as England are doing in the cricket. They’re smacking the Ukrainians all over the place, Jonny Bairstow style. They are going to win the biggest special military operation in Europe since D-Day. As Russia’s brilliant President, Vladimir Putin, calculated, Western unity is falling apart. The French have actually increased their gas supplies from Russia, sensibly. The anti-NATO, anti-EU left-green alliance led by Jean-Luc Mélenchon did well in last Sunday’s first round of the French parliamentary election and may deprive Macron of a parliamentary majority.
The Ukrainians are very evidently running low on ammo and Western reluctance to resupply them seems to be increasing. There is definitely a war-weariness in the West. Doubts are creeping in about Ukrainian claims, understandably, since they’ve lied from the beginning.
The cheese-eating surrender monkey, no offense intended, Emmanuel Macron, has traveled by train to Kiev, along with the German Chancellor, Olaf Scholz, and the Italian Prime Minister, Mario Draghi. With friends like these, the Ukrainians don’t need enemies!
I assume the idea of the European leaders was a Munich-style carve-up, with the Ukrainians ceding territory in exchange for peace. This was pretty much what dear old Pooters offered back in March. Zelensky wasn’t happy, I gather, but then he’s a scumbag, no offense intended, so who cares?
It is reasonable to assume that the European leaders coordinated their efforts with the American dictator Joseph Biden. What goes around comes around. Not only does Moscow know about the fraudulent count in 2020, they also know about Obama’s birth in Mombasa, in what was then the Coastal Protectorate of Kenya, in 1960.
How does Moscow know this? Because the NSA, without consulting me (I would have advised against it!), digitized their copy of the DNA report, done on my advice, given to the CIA and DIA in the famous lunch at Claridge’s Hotel in London. (They do a good lunch.) The DNA report, on ‘von’ Obama and his alleged maternal grandmother, conclusively ruled out a relationship between the two. In so doing it ruled out his claimed relationship with Stanley Ann Dunham, his alleged mother.
Since ‘von’ Obama’s claim to birth in the United States and US citizenship rested in its entirety on being Dunham’s son this was a pretty explosive report. Because it was digitized and because the NSA’s systems were compromised by some dodgy dealing, if that is not a tautology when it comes to ‘41’, the infamous German spy George Herbert Walker Bush, another American traitor, Edward Snowden, was able to access it.
Snowden, understandably, used the report when cutting his asylum deal in Hong Kong with that nice man President Pooters, who of course remained in Moscow. Since ‘von’ Obama is no longer in office what does it matter, you may ask? It matters because the current incumbent in the White House was ‘von’ Obama’s Vice-President.
Given his closeness to the CIA Joseph Biden almost certainly knew about the DNA report. Even if he didn’t he is fixed with the knowledge that his boss wasn’t entitled to be President. That in turn meant that he had to be bought off, big time. The paymasters were Ukrainian and the deals were done in Kiev.
This is one reason of course why the White House doesn’t want the Russians to capture Kiev. If Kiev falls the White House falls, all the way down, like in a Channing Tatum disaster movie. Given the lies told by the Democratic Party generally, Biden’s party would take some of the heat.
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson probably doesn’t know about the DNA report or the Snowden-Putin deal. He is famously ignorant, no offense intended, and not very bright. What’s worse he sacked his only intelligent adviser, that nice man Dominic Cummings. If you’re pretty dumb you can get by as a politician if you have smart advisers. The dumber you are the easier it is to get elected, but if you don’t have smart advisers you are just going to reel from one disaster to another if you are elected.
Put shortly being dumb is a great electoral asset but sadly it doesn’t qualify you to run a country. This partly explains the UK’s poor performance since the departure of our last intelligent Prime Minister, Sir Winston Churchill. It also explains the panic in the Cabinet Office at the thought that Britain might once again have an intelligent Prime Minister, that nice man Lord Frost.
Barack Obama and Freddie Mercury
No, I’m not suggesting that they were an item! So far as I know ‘von’ Obama and Freddie Mercury never made love together. They did however share one distinction – each was born a Subject of His Highness the Sultan of Zanzibar.
Freddie Mercury was born Farrokh Bulsara in Zanzibar on September 5th, 1946. The then Sultan, who also reigned when ‘von’ Obama was born in the Protectorate just under 14 years later, was His Highness Sayyid Sir Khalifa Il Bin Harub Al-Busaid, by all accounts a benevolent monarch. Wikipedia, by the way, with a typical lack of accuracy, no offense intended (they still claim, absurdly, that the world’s first jet fighter was the Me 262), asserts that Freddie Mercury was born a British Subject. This is nonsense.
Neither Zanzibar nor the Coastal Protectorate was part of the King’s Dominions in 1946, nor the Queen’s Dominions in 1960, although the Sultan benefited from British advice.
Of the two Zanzibaris, Freddie Mercury was the finer singer, much the better looking and much the more honest. ‘Von’ Obama was the stabler personality of the two, and the more intelligent, but it was Freddie Mercury who will be remembered.
Before he was so tragically murdered in 1991 as part of German intelligence’s AIDS biological warfare campaign, Freddie Mercury composed and sang some of the greatest rock music ever written. ‘Von’ Obama is just another failed politician, no offense intended, with no significant achievements to his name.
Bohemian Rhapsody will still be being played centuries from now when ‘von’ Obama will just be the answer to an obscure question in a pub quiz. Freddie Mercury’s performance at Live Aid in 1985 was one of the greatest ever given by any artiste, in any format, in human history. It was cruelly cut short but at least Freddie Mercury did something with his life. He has joined the immortals.
Queen by the way was probably the first rock group to have their lead singer murdered by the DVD. John Lennon was also murdered by the DVD, in 1980, in his case a targeted killing, but the Beatles had long been broken up.
The Tories are still laboring under the insane delusion that only an MP can be Prime Minister. I have however briefed key people and established a backchannel to Lord Frost. It is unlikely that the Tories will stay deluded for much longer.
As in 1963, whether the Prime Minister serves from the House of Lords or the House of Commons is a political, not a constitutional, question. With no MP possessing the intellectual capacity to govern the country, no offense intended, it is obvious that the next Tory leader will have to come from the Lords.
The Trent Bridge Test Match
I did say that I was going to publish a column last weekend, but like much of the country, I was engrossed in the 2nd Test Match against New Zealand, the World Test Champions, at the famous Trent Bridge ground in Nottingham. Germany’s GO2 was so shattered by England’s resurgent performance that they set fire to the Tap & Run pub in Upper Broughton, Nottinghamshire, co-owned by England all-rounder, Stuart Broad, on the second day of the Match.
Of course the Nottinghamshire wooden-tops, no offense intended, are saying that it was an accident and completely unrelated to Stuart Broad’s fine bowling performance the day before. Then again if you burned down their headquarters (please don’t do this at home) Nottinghamshire Police would probably just say that it was one of those things. They’re so thick, again no offense intended, that they probably wouldn’t run out of the burning building.
England ran out the winners, by five wickets, in the final session of the five-day ball game, scoring a record-breaking 299 to win, after conceding 553 in the Kiwi’s first innings. It wasn’t just the amount of runs England scored in the final innings, it was the way they scored them. Jonny Bairstow, whose father David, another fine Test cricketer, sadly took his own life in 1998, smashed no fewer than seven sixes on his way to 136.
It was the second-fastest century by an England batsman in Test history. You have to go all the way back to the great innings by Gilbert Jessop at the Oval in 1902 for a faster knock. It is impossible not to make a connection between Jessop’s wonderful, courageous hitting and the dash and elan of Beatty’s battlecruisers in World War 1. Jessop inspired the country and showed the advantage of going on the attack.
The sight of Vice-Admiral Beatty’s mighty battlecruiser squadron charging our community partner the Hun in the Battle of Heligoland Bight in 1914, Battle Ensigns flying, hugely rattled the High Sea Fleet and in turn the Kaiser. It was Gilbert Jessop writ large.
Another great attacking inning, by Lord Botham, at Headingley in 1981, paved the way for our great win over Argentina in the Falklands War the following year. Botham’s 149 not out and Bob Willis’s inspired bowling lifted the entire country.
The US Navy thought that recovering the Falklands was impossible. That judgment probably didn’t even factor in that there was a German spy at the heart of Whitehall, the evil, supercilious Cabinet Secretary if that is not a tautology with respect, Sir Robert Armstrong. Sir Robert did his best throughout the war to get British servicemen killed and British ships sunk. The Argies always knew where we were going to attack. My old friend Admiral Sir Sandy Woodward suspected that there was a leak out of Whitehall and wisely kept his flat-tops out of harm’s way.
It was a tragedy that Sir Robert was not hung, drawn, and quartered for his treason. If ever a person deserved to be castrated, disemboweled, and beheaded it was Sir Robert Armstrong, no offense intended.
The sudden revival of English cricket, and with it the massive boost to national morale, was all down to new management and our fine new captain, Ben Stokes. It would never have been possible had the Cabinet Office’s stranglehold on English cricket not been broken. As recently as March that seemed impossible, but a true Englishman never despairs.
In an act as evil as Sir Robert Armstrong’s betrayal of our battle plans to the enemy in the Falklands War the then Cabinet Secretary Sir Jeremy Heywood ordered Avon and Somerset Police to arrest Ben Stokes in 2017 on a trumped-up charge and then ordered the Crown Prosecution Service to prosecute him, unlawfully. Thankfully I spotted what was going on and briefed key people. Ben was triumphantly acquitted and restored to the England team. Sir Jeremy, as all y’all know, was extra-judicially executed in 2018, dying a horrible death, although sadly not horrible enough.
As a country, we do sufficiently acknowledge the great genius of King Edward 1 (1272-1307), Who understood that when dealing with powerful men powerful remedies are required. Traitors such as Sir Robert Armstrong and Sir Jeremy Heywood cannot be deterred by a simple hanging, let alone life imprisonment.
For such worthless human rubbish, no offense intended, only the most painful methods of execution, involving prolonged and unbearable agony, inducing stark terror, will suffice. As Edward 1 understood, traitors are usually cowards as well. Of course, there are left-liberal weenies going around saying that castrating and disemboweling Cabinet Secretaries might involve some unspecified breach of their human rights, which brings me to my next topic.
ECHR v. the UK
On Tuesday the European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg predictably stopped the first flight to Rwanda, intended to carry illegal migrants who had crossed the Channel and were claiming asylum, in most cases fraudulently. Please bear in mind that all the illegal migrants crossing the Channel had the opportunity to claim asylum in France, a safe country unless you’re British.
The ECHR used Rule 39, which allows the court to give interim measures or rulings, which in practice amount to injunctions against sovereign states. Whilst this power has long been available, it is rarely exercised, for good reason. The problem of course is that the court is as bent as a three-bob note, no offense intended, subject to strong blackmail and bribery pressures from the DVD.
Part of the Council of Europe, the initiative to set up the court came from the DVD, which was anxious to undermine state sovereignty. The European Convention on Human Rights was largely drafted by the notorious German agent Philip Allen.
The only way for the Rwanda scheme to go ahead is for the UK to withdraw from the Convention. Boris Johnson has been making noises to that effect, but that’s all they are: noises. In practice, the decision will be taken by the Cabinet Secretary, Simon ‘von’ Case, a fanatical Rejoiner, no offense intended, who will want to see Britain humiliated and who could usefully be disemboweled. Cabinet Office stooges inside the Home Office have been trying to sabotage the Rwanda scheme for months.
Thankfully there are signs that the 1922 Executive will amend its rules, so as to permit a further challenge to Boris in three months’ time. Effective border control will be impossible whilst Boris remains in Number 10.
I respectfully endorse former U.S. President Trump’s statement on the Unselect Committee, which by the way endorses the findings of the 2000 Mules investigators. (The Democrats had more mules working for them in the 2020 election than the Indian Army in World War II.)
As a kangaroo court, the hearings have been a disappointment. They failed to produce a single kangaroo. They also failed to produce the truth, possibly because they weren’t looking for it. J6 was a setup, designed to embarrass President Trump. Period.
Epstein & Assange
As all, of y’all will recall German operative Jeffrey Epstein was assassinated by a federal death squad in August 2019. Sadly Home Secretary Priti Patel, under pressure no doubt from the Cabinet Office, has signed the death, sorry extradition, a warrant for Wikileaks founder Julian Assange.
I hold no brief for Julian, whose people never responded to my overtures, but I don’t hold with the idea of assassinating him in order to silence him over the murder of Democratic Party worker Seth Rich. No doubt poor Julian will be the next target of the federal death squads. The ethical standards of federal prosecutors are low, sadly, so low that I have little doubt that a prosecutor bent enough to oppose bail just to make life easier for the death squads will be found.
Very few federal prosecutors object to the use of murder by the federal government as an instrument of state policy, one reason why it was so easy to cover up the Epstein Assassination. One of the clues which gave the game away was the fracturing of Epstein’s hyoid bone.
Interestingly, six years before Jeffrey Epstein was strangled to death in a federal strangling, sorry penal, facility, my favorite US crime writer, Michael Connelly, wrote The Gods of Guilt. On page 48 of the UK hardback (Orion) edition, he wrote about the hyoid bone. “If it’s broken it means force trauma to the front of the neck. She (the homicide victim) was choked, strangled.” I respectfully agree. It’s an excellent novel, by the way, a real page-turner.
This week’s movie review: Jurassic Park Dominion (2022, dir. Colin Trevorrow)
Delayed by the China Virus Jurassic Park Dominion, the final movie in the Jurassic World trilogy has finally been released to theaters. It was worth waiting for.
There is no point emailing me and asking why with a professionally estimated IQ of 187 I’m not watching movies more suited to my intellectual level, like Minions: The Rise of Gru. For starters, the latest Minions movie isn’t scheduled to be released in theaters in the UK until July 1st. I shall of course be reviewing it, always assuming that the anesthesiologist in the minor surgery I’m having on Friday isn’t named Dr. Mengele. (Minor it may be, but I’m still being given a general anesthetic – to give you a clue as to what’s being fixed I should emerge from theater even more balanced than I am now!)
I also try not to take myself too seriously, although you should. Having an IQ 27 points clear of Albert Einstein (at the risk of being accused of departing from my normal policy of hiding my lights under a bushel, I’m sure glad that I’m not as dumb as Einstein) doesn’t mean that I can put up a set of shelves, cook or sing as well as Freddie Mercury. I know my limitations. I also know my strengths, which include analytical firepower greater than that of any Englishman since Sir Isaac Newton, whose estimated IQ by the way was 190.
The plot of Dominion is weak, but nobody goes to watch a dinosaur movie for the plot, or the science, at least I hope not. As it happens the science is no weaker than that of a UN climate change report and the Jurassic Park series has made a powerful point about the power of genetic engineering.
Moviegoers go, in their hundreds of thousands, to a Jurassic movie to see people, preferably Democrats, being eaten. And yes, the Bad Guy, in this case, a tech firm CEO so evil he could be a senior executive at Google, no offense intended, becomes lunch.
The plot may be weak but the cast is strong, with welcome returns for Sam Neill, a fine actor, and Laura Dern. The chase sequence on Malta is superbly done and wouldn’t look out of place in a Bond movie. There’s also a lovely cameo appearance from a C-119 Flying Boxcar, a nice old kite, which featured in The Flight of the Phoenix.
It’s long, but it’s fun. You won’t regret seeing it, and if you have children you won’t have the option of missing it anyway. The Giganotosaurus is worth the price of admission alone. At least the Jurassic series of movies has stopped people from being sniffy about dinosaurs. No more jokes about they’re being so big it would take ten minutes for a hit on their tails to register on their brains, and no more silly theories about brontosauruses being unable to support their own body weight. They were truly magnificent creatures but it’s just as well that they’re not still around. Nobody wants to be eaten on the way to work.
Jurassic movies are supposedly now extinct, but this latest one has grossed around half a billion dollars and it’s only been out for less than two weeks. My guess is that the scriptwriters will find that at least one giganotosaurus has escaped.
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Please bear in mind that I’ve had to battle with the might of German intelligence for paid work for over 40 years. There’s always been someone raining on my parade.
Michael Shrimpton was a barrister from his call to the Bar in London in 1983 until being disbarred in 2019 over a fraudulently obtained conviction. He is a specialist in National Security and Constitutional Law, Strategic Intelligence and Counter-terrorism. He is a former Adjunct Professor of Intelligence Studies at the American Military University.